Hold On To Me

This Heart is Yours

This life is mine, but this heart is yours....
This smile is mine, but the reason is you....

      -unknown

Bai Qian fidgets with the turtleneck she has on. She looks around the cafe and found many occupants looking at her discretely. She lowers her eyes with shame and reaches for her ice cold drinks to cool her flushing face.
It would be strange if they didn't. The weather in Beijing today is unusually warm and she's wearing a turtleneck.

A smile unconsciously broke out on her face as a tender and warm feeling envelopes her.

I'm happy to have met you, but I'm scared too. There is joy in loving you, but if my love is not reciprocated then I don't know if I can bear this pain again...

She never wanted to be with anyone until she met him. She never saw the point. Besides, her life at the time didn't leave room for her to think about love.
Being in love with him was easy...natural...admitting to herself that it happened...was hard.

She realized that she doesn't regret meeting him. She knows he is her first, but she also wish for him to be her last.

She might have not known at the time...She had married him with her soul and lost her heart on that day five years ago.
She wished she had told him....perhaps one day.

For so long she had longed for him...now she can't bear to lose him...the one person that makes her feel complete.

She tried to run...denied her feelings. In the end every path leads back to what her heart and soul knew all along.

She looks back and wonders....if she could stop herself....how different their lives would've been.

Did he make a love confession to her this morning? Could it be or was it her imagination....?

Mo Yuan...Be in love with me too....

"Did the glass offended you? Why are you staring it down?"

Her thoughts disperse into thin air....scatters...

Bai Qian knew that voice...It's the person that she was sitting here in the cafe waiting for. She doesn't want to look up because if she does...
She will find herself facing those questioning eyes. Those eyes that knows her so well will be pleading to know what she has been doing and thinking. She's not at the liberty to say because she does not know herself....

"I'm in love with him...." Her voice was soft and barely audible. It's as if she speaks any louder then it will confirm how she truly felt.

Her eyes met the man that sat across from her. Her brother by choice and her anchor.....

"Zhen Zhen, I'm in love with him. I can't believe I've only just realized it."

"Care to start from the beginning? It seems I have missed out on something important...." Zhen Zhen smile unbelievingly at her.

He can't believe she just realized it.....
As beautiful as she is with many admirers...she's oblivious to it all.

Zhen Zhen leans forward, places his hands on her shoulders and shakes her gently.

"Get out! Who are you? Why are you possessing my friend's body!"

Zhen Zhen burst out laughing. His muscles are shaking and tears slowly stream from his half closed eyes.

Back then during their college days....if he would have told her how threatened he felt being her friend...
He had suffered because of her due to all her admirers....