Hold On To Me

It's Hard to Say

The busy streets have a life of it's own, the occasional sounds of honking and grinding of the brakes filled the air.

Gazing straight ahead, Bai Qian's mind was only half focus on the world outside the confinement of the car. Her hands rhythmically stroking the wheel as she tried very hard to remembered what happened last night.
Her teeth sunk down on her lower lip as she recalled how his hand cupped her breast....how she lost herself to his touch.

Stupid, oh so embarrassing! She chided herself. Why does this body react to his touch like a zither strings to the player's fingers.

The clock ticks on the wall as Mo Yuan stared at the golden beam reflecting it's bright light into his office. Sitting behind his desk Mo Yuan found himself smiling foolishly as thoughts of the night before came back to him.

The quietness of the room grows deeper as his unfocused eyes gaze out the window.

The moment she realized that he wanted to live with them, words left her. He had forged his way in along with his suitcase.

She couldn't move her lips when he laid out his detailed proposal. Her mind could not compute nor refused when she stared at those deep, dark, intelligent eyes.

He proposed that the one year marriage trial start that very same night.

He saw the shock registered on her face before she could concealed it. A small smile played on his lips.

"Do you have anything to say? Tell me what you're thinking." He asked.

His eyes desperately searched hers....waiting

She stared at him with wide eyes in horror. Surprise is not an emotion that she dealt well with. She searched her mind for a reasonable thing to say, but she knows whether it's that night or a week later the result will still be just the same. Her mind told her to not accept and rush into things but her heart answered for her.

Bai Qian tried to keep her emotions in check and not let it shown in her voice as she gathered her thoughts.

"I'm thinking that whether we start tonight or any other night, it will all be the same. Therefore, I want to discussed with you throughly about this."

In that moment Mo Yuan felt the woman he love more than air were a stranger. Within twenty four hours, who would have thought they are here, this moment...discussing their arrangements like programming a software.

"We will have separate bedrooms until we are more comfortable being around each other."

"I disagree. If we are to undertake this marriage then I want both of us to try our best. To do everything that married couples does, since day one."

"Everything that they do?" Her voice repeated slowly as it trailed off.

Isn't him being here not enough?

"Yes, everything. Don't tell me you haven't thought of that? Or are you denying me of that?"

Mo Yuan understood Bai Qian temperament. He needed to tell her clearly or else she would not be able to sleep.
He knew exactly what she was thinking and it tickled his insides.

Though she did thought about those things, it was still too soon for her to accept it. She knew what he meant and what he was asking for. She looked down at her hands and started pressing her thumb to her palm....nervously.

"I'm your husband. Isn't it normal for us to be together?" He questioned.

Her eyes flickered with uncertainty. Her expression showed her internal struggle.