Meaningful Mistakes

Chapter Forty One

"She's still your mom, Lollipops." Hunter says softly, gaining my attention. "You spent fourteen years with her."

Those years are both filled with bad memories and good ones. Though she is the woman who birthed and raised me, she lost that rightful title the day she felt without a word.

Hunter is only trying to be kind. "I know, but she was the one person in the world that was suppose to be by my side through everything. She couldn't even do that."

"It's okay, Lols. You don't need to process everything right now." William speaks. "Do you want to go rest for a little while?"

Although his suggestion does sound pleasing to be able to crawl under the blankets and nap, but there is still something I haven't done yet because the sleep would be stolen from me if I hadn't.

"I just remembered I have to go do something first." I decline and begin to stand.

"You just found out your mother died, and you're going to go on about your day?" Chuck stares at me as if I had gone mad.

"People have their own ways of dealing with things." I tell him, knowing that he will understand that through the similarities of our disorder we share.

Judging by his face, he got the message. It took him a few moments but he seems to remember that my mother also had an eating disorder. He makes the connection.

"I'll come with you." Hunter stands up beside me.

"It's okay, I'm just going to my r-"

"I wasn't asking." His hazel eyes appear soft as they scan my face. He isn't going to leave me alone. I appreciate it- his company.

So easily Hunter can read every change of my body posture or face. There could be questions he wants to ask, or he simply wants to ensure that I would be okay stomaching the death of my mother once I have my first few moments alone.

"I'm thinking about making homemade pies for dinner tonight, is that okay?" William asks before Hunter and I can pass him to leave.

"Sounds good." I smile, thinking back to the last time William baked his famous pie's. He'll make all different sorts and they'd last for weeks. They were the best dinner and desert pies I have ever tasted.

I snatch my bag from the kitchen island before walking in the direction of my room, Hunter close behind on my footsteps.

"Stop." He hooks his fingers on the end of my jacket, stopping me from sitting on my bed. He spins me and pulls my body close to his chest, holding me in his arms. "I know you said you're okay, but sometimes it's like I know how you are feeling better than you do."

My hands curl around his hoodie and shut my eyes, simply letting myself feel nothing but his warm embrace.

I'm not sad, though I should be, I'm mostly angry. Furious that she threw away her husband and fourteen year old daughter for another man filled with promises of the life she wanted.

Never once had she expressed that she felt stuck, or that she wanted out of her marriage. It was sprung at us so fast that it poisoned most of the good memories with her that over years have turned hazy.

"I think you've got denial running through your head, and a lot of built up emotions from that young fourteen year old that is angry at her mom for leaving."

Hunter can see through me somehow. These are words that even I can't form. I sigh and rest the side of my face against his chest.

"She left me with a crushed soul on my birthday. It was horrible. I can never forget that day. She left me nothing to know why, but apparently she'd written me two letters that were never sent."