kaitlynn rose // h.s

off day

It's nearing the end of February and I'm exhausted. My dad got let go from his job yesterday. I've been crying on and off since I hung up my end of the phone call with him last night.

Now more than ever, I felt incredibly guilty for being so far away from home. I felt terrible that there wasn't anything that I could do to help. I couldn't drop out this close to finishing, and even if I do go home it's not like there's space for me or money for me to be there. I was going to head home for spring break, but that's definitely not happening now.

I have yet to see or speak to Harry since I talked to my dad. It's Saturday afternoon, so I'm slightly surprised he hasn't called me or come over.

When he does call, I don't answer. He calls again a minute later and then texts me a few times when I don't answer again. As I stare at the notifications on my lock screen, a sigh falls from my lips. I'd been such an emotional wreck over the last 24 hours that I don't have the energy to do literally anything - answering the phone and speaking included. I roll back into my pillow, hiding my face again.

After a minute or two of lying there and hiding from the world in silence, Erin's phone rings. She takes it into the hall to answer it, trying to hide that it's Harry even though I know it is. I know my boyfriend.

Erin comes back after a minute and doesn't say a word before she goes back to doing homework on our little desk. I'd talked to her already and she knows that this is one of those moods where it's best to leave me alone to let me think. I love her for knowing me so well and for giving me that space.

Not even five minutes later, Harry walks into our room. Neither one of us say anything; I just lift my blankets for him and he crawls into my tiny bed with me. Erin must have told him what happened, because he was already in comfort mode.

I cuddle up against him as he wraps his arms around me. As he presses a kiss to my head, I feel tears well up in my eyes again.

"It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," he mutters quietly. "They'll be okay. Don't beat yourself up for not being there."

"But if I was there-"

"No," he interrupts me. "Don't play that game. No part of this is your fault. There's nothing you could have done to stop this, Kait."

"I feel so worthless," I mutter quietly. "I wanna fly home and help but I would be in the way. I would be another mouth to feed... another person taking money and space away."

"Baby, they know you would help if you could. They're gonna figure everything out, don't worry. They're not alone in Texas, you have other family that aren't going to let them fall. And if money really is that big of a problem-"

"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence, Harry."

"It's an option, and I want you to know that," he mumbles. "I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but it's an option."

I nod my head slightly. "The fact that you would even consider giving my family your money is astounding, but the thought means a lot. I love you, bub. Thanks for always taking care of me. Even when I'm all sad and whiny like I am right now."

"Of course, Kait. How about we go out and have some fun? Get your mind off things for the rest of the day?"

I had homework to do, but I ignored the voice in my head telling me not to go out and nod my head. He gives me a small smile and sits up. I get up while he stays there and he watches me silently as I get dressed in jeans and a tee and brush my hair. I give Erin a hug and talk with her quietly for a minute before slipping on my shoes and grabbing my bag. I nod at Harry and he stands from my bed. As soon as he's close enough to do so, he winds his fingers with mine.

On the way down to his car, he asks me if there's anything in particular I want to do. I didn't have the energy to do much, so I have to think about it.

"Can we go to Olive Garden for lunch?"

"I could go for a shit ton of breadsticks," Harry nods, giving me a smile. He opens the passenger door for me and then jogs around to the drivers side. The closest Olive Garden is about fifteen minutes away, and for the most part the drive is silent other than Harry's music on shuffle.

Considering the fact that it's two in the afternoon, we get seated right away at a booth by the window. Harry slides in next to me and the waiter hands us menus. We order drinks and then the waiter walks off. We're brought bread and salad and we order a few minutes later. As I grab a breadstick, I turn so my back is against the window and swing my legs over Harry's lap. He gives me a small smile.

"I hate that you're sad but you're awfully cute when you're pouty."

"You saying I'm not cute all the time?" I mutter teasingly before I take a bite of bread.

He rolls his eyes at me and chuckles. "No, I'm not saying that. You're actually so cute all the time to the point that it's frustrating."

This time it's me that rolls my eyes. "If you lived with me all the time, you probably wouldn't think that."

Harry reaches forward gently and pushes my hair behind my ear. "Eat your bread. This is a dumb argument that will not end with a winner."

I stick my tongue out at him before taking another bite of my breadstick. He grabs a breadstick himself as he shakes his head at me.

We eat pasta until we feel like we might explode and then head back to Harry's house. I immediately head upstairs and take one of his hoodies from the closet. I change into it and into my shorts before climbing in the bed with the TV remote. By the time Harry gets upstairs, I'm already searching for something to watch on Netflix.

"Can we watch Mulan?"

Harry glances up from his phone and nods his head. "Whatever you want, babe. I gotta talk to Liam really quick though, I'll be back in a minute."

I watch silently as he heads out onto his balcony. He usually doesn't call his friends so I hope everything is okay. When he comes back in a few minutes later, he strips down to his boxers and climbs into the bed with me. I start the movie and cuddle up to him, resting my head on his chest.

About halfway through the movie, my dad calls. This time it's me that goes out onto the balcony. Harry sits with me for some of the phone call, rubbing my back and comforting me. He goes inside after awhile once he sees that I'm okay. The phone call lasts about an hour. By the time I hang up, I was back in my emotionally exhausted state. I felt more okay about their situation after talking with my dad about what's happening and what his plan is, but it still wasn't great.

When I go inside, Harry is working on his laptop in bed. He closes it and sets it aside as I climb back into the bed.

"Everything okay, love?"

"For now," I nod. "It's a mess, but I think it's okay. I think they'll be okay."

I cuddle back up to him and he opens Netflix again to start the movie. I smile slightly as he kisses the top of my head.

"Love you, bubba. Thanks for making me feel better today. I'm sorry I was ignoring your calls and texts earlier. That was stupid."

"S'okay, babe. I know how you work by now, which is why I called Erin to see what was up. I love you so much, Kaitlynn."