Luminous Fire

2. Brewing

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Xavier texts me the next morning asking if I want to hang out with him the following weekend. I didn’t know what to respond when I saw the text, so I pretended I was busy. I didn’t respond until later. I didn’t know what I was feeling. I was happy that he actually wanted to have a relationship and not just forget about meeting me. He invited me to go bowling. Throughout the week, I kept thinking about our plans and at times I would find myself feeling nervous. The weekend finally came, we went bowling, and it was so easy to talk to him. I felt like it was more like a date than just hanging out and the teasing from Oriel was making me blush giving them all the wrong impression. No matter how much I denied it, my friends didn’t believe me.

I continue to hang out with Xavier over the following weeks and I can’t deny I’ve enjoyed the time I spend with him. It’s easy to talk to him and I find myself sharing things without thinking about it. I started to realize that I care for him. I don’t know if he feels the same way and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Tonight, we are going to a movie and then dinner. I’m too nervous and Oriel teasing me is not helping.

“Oriel quit it. You’re not helping.” I’m assuming he sees the distress in my expression because he comes over and gives me hug.

“Cristian stop worrying about it. If he didn’t like you at least he bit, he wouldn’t be hanging out with you almost every weekend.”

“Thanks Oriel.”

“Anytime, now go!”

I make my way out of the building and walk the distance to the theater. He volunteered to pick me up, but I didn’t want him too. I can feel the smile on my face when I see he’s already waiting for me at the door. He greets me and we go in. The movie is about to start. I opt for no snacks since we’re going to dinner afterwards. He takes us to Peace Pizza and we buy a slice of every pizza they have. Then, we head to the park. It’s perfect. I prefer this than restaurants. It’s just us, but it’s out in the open. We sit leaning against a tree.

“So tell me Cristian, how many relationships have you been in?”

“None.” I can’t believe I actually said that without thinking.

“You’ve never been in one?”

“No.”

“That’s different. Why?”

“It wasn’t easy after everyone found out I am gay.”

“Why? How did it happen?”

“I was outed, so I wasn’t even ready, by my supposed best friend. He was the first one I told. My brother didn’t fully accept me at first though he came around. I do have to say though that he never stopped being protective of me at school. My father didn’t treat me any differently. My mom avoided talking about it at first. I’m not sure if it was because I am gay or because of what I was going through at school. Once my brother graduated; I was no longer protected. It wasn’t until the middle of the year that Ky, well Kyle, moved to the school and he decided to become friends with me that everything minimized. Though, I didn’t want any friends understandably after what my best friend had done. Kyle was persistent, which I’m glad. He kept others at bay too as long as he was around. We’re best friends, but right now he’s studying abroad. I do miss him.”

“I’m sorry it happened that way; that your trust was betrayed. I’m glad you had the support you did and for your best friend.”

“Thanks.”