"God Scarlett I don't know if I should be disappointed or jumping for joy. You finally got some dick but from Lucas Bellini? Sis, you could have done so much better."
I hope my eyes don't fall out of my head from all the rolling their doing. I know that Ricki is my friend and all, but I really cannot stand this bitch sometimes. She'd be much cooler if she knew how to filter her thoughts and mind her own business.
"Like who? Marcus?" After the party incident, Marcus hit me up apologizing profusely. I accepted his apology, but we haven't been cool since. Ricki knows this, but yet she's still on this Marcus and Scarlett wave when she knows that ship has sunk. Ricki doesn't say anything and I know I'm right.
"Well, how was it? Was he big?" Ricki shifts the topic and has a massive grin on her face as she waits for me to spill.
"Um, it was good. Well better than good. It was fantastic." From the corner of my eye, I see Angel pretend to gag. "He was pretty big."
"Like how big?"
"Big. Like..." I use my hands to demonstrate his length.
"Oh, so he was packing?"
"Girl like he was getting ready for a cross country move."
"Damn," Ricki whispers under her breath. "Are white boys the wave now?"
"Ricki we've always been the wave, you're just late." Asher rolls his eyes at Ricki and looks at me. "So what did you say after he said he loves you? Should I start finding a wedding planner?"
I feel cheeks flush at the thought of what happened last night. "Um well... you see I didn't say anything."
"Scarlett?!"
"He caught me off guard, and I was still processing what we did, and I don't know!" I yell out in a panic.
"So you just said nothing? Like at all. He basically showed you his heart, and you decided to become a mute?" Asher deadpans.
"Well, I said that I had to pee." In retrospect, that was not my best moment.
"Scarlett you fucking fool."Ricki scolds. This bitch didn't like him just a second ago now she has the audacity to say something to me?
"I didn't just say that. I cried as well." Yeah, not my best moment at all.
"What why? Did he hurt you? Voy a matarlo (I'm going to kill him.)"
"No Angel, he didn't hurt me. He was very gentle and sweet with me. I was just...overwhelmed. That's all. A lot happened last night."
"Listen, Scarlett as much as I enjoy listening to you talk about your first sexual experience, the only thing I want to know is-"
"Do you love him?" Angel quickly interrupts Asher.
Do I love Lucas? That's the question I've been wondering myself all night. Lucas makes me feel unlike any other guy has. When I'm around Lucas, I don't feel the burdens of my past weighing on me. I don't feel like that broken girl who's trying to move past the tragic death of her siblings. I don't feel like a recovering addict. Lucas makes me feel normal. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. He's the consistency and stability that I didn't even realize I needed. He makes me feel whole again.
But on the other hand, Lucas and I have only been together a few months, and as much as I trust him, there's still a part of me that's afraid that he might hurt me somehow. I don't want to be that girl who becomes so dependent on a guy, that she loses herself when she loses him. I need to be the only one in charge of my healing.
Chapter 51
Start from the beginning
