March 26, 2019
After guilt tripping myself over nothing I'll look at myself and say "You don't deserve food"
I hate to admit that I'm one of those girls who're always self conscious about their body. I'm confident that I look fine, but I'm not as perfect as I want to be.
I wish I could ignore it and just eat but no I'd rather go days without eating.
I'll find any excuse to skip food too.
Oh I forgot to finish my notes? I guess that means no lunch today. Forgot to say thank you to that one guy who opened the door for me? There's goes all the snacks.
Basically a whole cycle of unnecessary negativity that I'm giving power to regulate the health of my body.
I just feel so gross whenever I have "too much" food... like I'm going to die from it. I know that's an exaggeration.
Anyways... I used to be really bad with this whole thing but I'm back to eating now. I know anorexia never really goes away but I've been able to eat so much recently.
Sure they come with regrets but at least those regrets aren't stopping me.
