High School Treachery | ✓

11 | Detention Buddies

Somehow, only one girl walked in. It was clearly a freshman from the way she only looked at me confused, but didn't care about spreading my business.

She asked if I was okay while washing her hands. I said no, and she said okay, then left.

She may be the only person in this school I like since she had the common sense to leave me and my thoughts alone.

Ignorance is bliss.

That's the one thought running around my mind. How great it is to not know something. I was scared of the dark for most of my childhood, but now I wish I could spend the rest of my life in it.

Or to have at least spent the next few hours in it, seeing as freaking out in Arlin Preparatory High School's dirty girls bathroom is not ideal.

Yet, just like with everything else in my life, I never get what I want.

I didn't get to stay on the swim team, I didn't get to stay in Miami, I didn't get the seat I want in class, and I didn't get a perfect, loving relationship.

Is it my fault? The relationship failing... is that on me? Did I not fight hard enough to stay... for us?

My parents pop up in my mind. The cause of it all.

Maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad if they hadn't made me move... either time. Moving to Florida meant meeting Liam, and moving to New York meant losing him.

How was I even supposed to know how to maintain a perfect relationship anyway? The one I saw growing up was nowhere near that. It wasn't the slightest bit healthy.

I mean, I don't have much to compare it too, but even then, it was always clear to see that the arguing, the horrible and mean things shouted into the late hours of the night, the slamming doors and weeping in the next room, the wondering if my dad would come back... wondering if Mom would ever leave her room... that couldn't have been healthy.

But hey, who am I to judge? Because my boyfriend cheated on me. With my best friend.

Just the thought makes me sick to my fucking stomach.

Is that why I was feeling so sick before? Did some part of me know something was going to happen, did I know this all along? Did I try pretending things were okay when I clearly knew they weren't?

What is wrong with me?

No. I refuse to blame myself. This is on Liam and Jessica. My own boyfriend and best friend who went behind my back and did the dirtiest thing they could.

Twice. In the last week. The week I was trying to reach out to Liam and wondering why Jessica wasn't answering me.

Oh my fucking God, were they together whenever I called?

The new thought makes it even harder to stop the sobs from coming out, and soon after they're pouring out of my body.

This is all their fault. And my own fucking parents for making me move. Because if I didn't move, this wouldn't have happened. It couldn't have. Right? That's how Jack made it seem. And apparently nothing happened until I left.

Just another reason to hate the fact that we moved.

I stand from the floor when I realize how long I've been sitting here. Good thing I took my book with me when I left class. I guess some part of me knew I wouldn't make it back.

I head over to the sink to splash cold water on my face. After drying off, I scold myself for even shedding a tear over those two traitors.

I decide it's best to leave the bathroom, since I can't afford to miss anymore classes. Just as I'm walking out the door, I knock into someone who's much bigger than me since the impact sends me flying back.