Spy School: We Meet Again

Chapter 2: After a few years

Erica's POV

"Erica, do you like me?"

"Your taking advantage of my weakened mental condition."

"Yes, and you're avoiding the question. Do you like me?''

"You mean as a friend?"

"No. I mean as more than that."

"You mean the way you like me?"

"Er... yes."

"... It's complicated."

"Why? Do you like Mike instead?"

"Mike?...That Mike?"

"Yes"

"Why would I like him?"

"Well because he's Mike. He's cool and fun and you actually complimented him the other day..."

"That doesn't mean I like him."

"Well, how should I know that? You never compliment anybody."

"That's not true. I gave you a compliment only two months ago."

"Most people do it a little more often than that."

"Really?''

"Yes!"..."If it's not Mike, what's so complicated about us?"

"Everything. Our Lives are complicated, Ben...If we went to a normal school, it'll be weird enough with me being two years older than you. But we don't go to a normal school. There's nothing normal about our lives at all. We live in a dangerous world, and serious relationships make it even more dangerous..."

"Not necessarily. You can't get by in this business without friends."

"You're not asking to be friends. You're asking for much more. And that kind of emotion is dangerous. It affects our ability to make decisions. It gives our enemies leverage over us. It creates an enormous risk."

"So, you're planning to go your whole life without ever connecting with someone?"

"I connected with someone once before. And look how that worked out."

"Erica, I'm not Joshua Hallal."

"I know. But...the other thing is, Ben... I'm complicated. Think about the family I've grown up in. My Father's a liar. My mother kept her job a secret from him. And look how my grandfather's using me right now. That's what this job does to relationships. It screws everything up. But I'm always going to be a spy, no matter what. so something has to give."

"Maybe not. We could try."

"I'm not ready for a relationship, Ben. And I don't think you are either. Sorry. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but you wanted the truth, so you're getting it. Plus, there's a fifty percent chance we're not going to make it out of here alive..."

"What?!"

"UUUUUHHHHHHH" I woke up.

Why out of all of the dreams that I could have had, this had to be the one. How many years ago did that happen? ... 9... It was 9 years ago.

I got out of my bed and walked to my kitchen, to get some water. It feels like yesterday, me and Ben were on a mission trying to thwart SPYDERS plans. The thought made me smile. I remember every single mission we had. I remember the time I first opened up to him. We were hiding in the Washington Monument and it was the first time, in a really long time, that I laughed till my cheeks and stomach hurt. And then there was that time where he saved my life by risking his own... all though that was every single mission we were on. Looking back at it, why did I always mess up right at the end?

I got my water and was walking back to my bed. "Why that dream?..." I'm not too happy of that memory. It was just an awkward moment in my life and one of those that you can't just run away from.

I sat down on my bed and slowly started drinking the water. Right now, I was at my childhood home. My mother was on a mission in England and me... well, I have a new mission tomorrow. So I will have to leave.

The thought of my next mission made my stomach turn upside down. In these 9 years, nothing has changed... well mission wise. We still have the same evil organizations and bad guys that we had before. Tomorrow... well... I will have to find out what SPYDER is planing again. Why is it so hard for the CIA,... for me... to destroy them? If Ben would be here... together we would probably have already...

"If Ben would be here..." Again my thought wandered to that day... the day when he just disappeared. 6 years ago, we were captured by SPYDER. 6 years ago, we escaped. 6 years ago, Ben just disappeared after the mission, not to be seen again.

When he disappeared I looked everywhere. Zoe, Mike, Jawa, Chip, we looked everywhere, but nothing. It was like he never existed... there was no sign of him. His room at our school was just left abandoned. No letter, no piece of paper left to explain why and where he left. None of us were the same after that mission. Looking at it... all of them turned it to me... the Ice Queen... so to say. It was strange. In some way, it seemed that even the teachers at the Academy of Espionage missed Ben. And to think that the last time I saw him, he was beating himself up for being a screw up of a person. How can a person just change so many lives?

The question is why am I so unlucky when it comes to relationships? First Joshua and then, when I finally started to entertain the idea of me and Ben being together, he disappears. After all this time, I am still thinking about what could have happened and if I ever will see him again. Is he even still alive? Oh please be! But thinking about it, what would be my reaction if I saw him again? I would probably beat him up for leaving without an explanation. Yes, even though I like... no, liked him, I know nothing about what kind of person he is now. I just know who he was. And that just makes me angry. How did I allow this to happen? I am supposed to be a spy, a good one at that and I can't even find a boy that I know.

With every mission that I had without Ben, I understood how much he actually helped. There have been so many times where I wanted to ask him a difficult math question to help speed things along, but later realize that I am asking no one.

But well... that is the past I suppose. I am 24 now for god's sake! I am not the teenager I was before! And let's not forget that I graduated from spy school a little less than 6 years ago now.

I looked at my phone to see the time. It's 5 in the morning. I should probably go out and run a few laps around the neighborhood. I won't be able to go back to sleep now so at least I will do something productive.

Hi! I hope you like the story so far. If not, that's also ok. :)

I just wanted to say that I have always imagined Erica having these dialogs with herself, asking questions about her feelings. Reading back at what I have written down, I see that here, Erica seems a lot nicer then she is in Stuarts books, the next chapter especially.  But in my opinion, the way she acts on missions and in school is actually completely different, to the way she acts around the people she trusts.

I am sorry if it seems like I have changed her completely, but this is the way I think Erica would act when she would be older.

since Erica is older here I imagine, that the way she thinks has changed.