Mother

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mother you are so weak.
and by the end of the week,
you're lying next to him in bed,
wishing you had a pistol in your hand.
you don't even try!
all you do is cry
when you're made a fool.
all you are is a tool.
now i love you so,
but these wounds you cannot sow.
words like knives 
stabbing my heart so many times.
fingers softly grab my hand, 
and i wonder, just what is your plan?
lies are all that roll off your tongue 
have you even thought about your son? 
your touch is poison ivy 
which i'm ended up on a sore knee.
paying you attention,
i make myself bleed from temptation.
poems are band aids
but your love is razor blades. 
i write these rhymes to heal, 
but really, what next are you going to steal?
weak is what you are mother. 
watch tears fall from my eyes like the weather.
i believe you can get past this,
if you really wanted your kids.
it will take some time, i'm sure
and maybe then you can come to church.
i will always love you
but don't you think for a second,
that i will ever forgive you.
forgive you for hurting me,
and letting me fall miserably.
forgive you for breaking my heart,
for your lies weren't all that smart.
forgive you for worsening my depression,
your love i will forever question.
forgive you for turning your back,
which made me have to backtrack.
forgive you for breaking me down,
when you were my only crown.
but remember this mother:
you can do it.
i believe in you.
but i will never forgive you.

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