Weekend Goal

Chapter 6 - I Fall Apart

The second half of training is pretty uneventful, Sanne managed to not let any more goals in. As much as she thought I was bitching at her and getting on her case, she took note of what I said; she knew she couldn't control the left by herself, so she took charge and co-ordinated her teammates, and found some tactics that worked.

They're all full of themselves after training; I can barely hear myself think, I don't want to get involved in their stupid conversation, so I shower as quickly as possible and head outside. I'm surprised to see Jacob stood over near the gate.

"Mum," he shouts me to go over.

"Hey, what are you up to?"

"Nothing. I thought I might go out with Luke and Calum later . . ."

" . . . And let me guess you wanted some money?" I don't even need him to finish his sentence, I know what he wants and if there was ever any doubt what he'd come to see me for his smile gave him away instantly.

He looks so much like his father when he smiles, hell, he looks like his father all the time. There's literally nothing of me in him — his olive skin, his brown hair and dark eyes are all Mateo.

"Mum, are you crying?" he asks.

"No, it's hayfever," I lie before kissing him on the cheek; I know he'll be embarrassed, but I don't care. I watch him ride off on his bike, and it kills me to know that one day I'll watch him leave, and he won't come back, and it's all Mateo's fault. Him and his mother.

I hear laughter behind me, I turn and see Willow and Sanne walking arm in arm, they're going for lunch, I know they are. That's what we used to do, Willow and me. We'd finish training and go and get food together. Or sometimes we'd head to the bar and drink prosecco in a pretty little beer garden by the river. But she doesn't want to do that with me anymore, and I can't say as I blame her — I wouldn't want to hang out with me either. Willow gives me a little wave and a smile, but she doesn't ask me if I want to join them, and it hurts. It really fucking hurts.

"London," Cooper shouts from behind me.

"Don't call me that," I say. "I don't like it."

"You look like you could do with a drink," he says, walking into the club bar.

And even though I don't want or need a drink, I still follow him. He's about as close to a friend at this club as I'm going to get at the minute.

"Vodka?" he asks from behind the bar.

"No, water is fine."

"What? You don't drink anymore?" he says feigning shock. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"There's more to life than drinking you know? I'm not about that life anymore. I'm an adult, you are too, maybe it's time you started acting like one." Yeah, I'm being a bitch again, but I can't help it.

"What is wrong with you, Rosie?" he say's wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Nothing," I say, but what I really want to say is everything.

I want to tell Cooper that I'm fed up of pretending that we are friends when we quite clearly aren't. I want him to know how difficult I find it to keep my cool when he flirts with others girls in front of me — he broke my heart, it's no wonder Jacob doesn't like him. He'd practically moved into my place when he decided that he didn't want anything serious and then turned up with another girl at the Christmas party, but still kissed me under the mistletoe.

My son is leaving me; he's decided that he wants to live with his father, and who can blame him? To say that I was shocked when he brought it up would be an understatement. And then Mateo dropped the bombshell that it's something they'd been talking about for a while. Apparently, his mother would be there to help take care of Jacob — the woman who accused me of ruining her son's life now wants to bring up my son. I'd shouted and screamed at him until my throat hurt and my voice hoarse, but he didn't even rise to it.

"I don't know what's wrong my little Rosa," he said, "the option to live in Barcelona with me has always been there. How many times did I ask you to come live here?"

Okay, so that was true. He'd left when I was six months pregnant, but he'd always give me the opportunity to go and be with him, he'd wanted Jacob to be born in Barcelona, in the same hospital where he'd come into the world. That didn't happen. We visited a few times, but I didn't like his mother, and she didn't like me. It was clear that she thought I'd ruined Mateo's life, she was convinced that I saw him as nothing more than a bank account, I think that's what made me determined to make it on my own.

"Honestly, I'm fine," I say to Cooper with a smile. And I am fine. I will be fine. Everything will work out okay in the end.