Absolute Obedience

Chapter Fifteen

'You are mine.' His face, his voice still haunted me. Nightmares still woke me up at night, and Pierce didn't always come to my rescue. It wasn't Clyde that haunted them, it was him. There was never a second of my day that my thoughts didn't drift to his voice, his face, his promise. Beta would eventually find me. His actions against me wouldn't be punishable since I've been branded. It was obvious that I had been the problem, and I had cause the Beta to act the way he did. Even if Clyde had been the one to groom me into what I've become, Beta wouldn't have reacted the way he did if Clyde hadn't did what he did. Beta was innocent and just a bystander to the actions of another. A domino effect in a cruel world. Maybe he felt anger towards me because Clyde forced him to do things that went against the laws? Maybe Beta's mate had died and his wolf wanted me, but was denied the very thing that could soothe his wolf? If I had been a better Omega, I would have been able to soothe his beast, I would have been able to comfort him. If and when Beta finds me, I'll be sure to apologize to him for being incompetent and useless. If he wants my life, I'll take responsibility for not doing my duty to the pack. 

I moved my eyes to the window that was behind the sink, overlooking the yard. The sun was slowly descending, another day was ending. Nothing was accomplished, Pierce left again, and I was here again alone. 

Alone.

Shaking my thoughts away, I laid my head down on the table and closed my eyes. Tired. My body felt more tired as of late. Maybe the lack of sleep and the nightmares were wearing my wake mind down to the point where I couldn't learn properly. Maybe I should inform Pierce that  if I could take a small nap I could learn better? It was a possibility, but after the first week he had taken away my notepad saying that I was relaying on it too much and I needed to try harder. I knew he would just become angry if I tried to voice my need for sleep. I let a sigh out, I needed to stop using excuses for myself. I shouldn't upset him, I needed to be better. Maybe if I learned faster and showed I could do it, he'd want me to stay? Maybe I could become useful to him?

Or maybe he would ask me to leave sooner. 

Was I purposely not doing well so that I don't have to leave? Was I truly trying my hardest?

Breathing in, I tried to turn off my mind. I was tired, and I could take a small nap before Pierce returned. I'd never done it before because I was worried about his reaction. I wasn't sure if he'd get angry at me or not. At this moment though, with my head resting on the island, the sun shining a deep orange, and the dark slowly taking over, it was a serene and I just didn't want to care about the consequences of my actions. There was no movement, a possible leak in the faucet was the only noise that made me remember that time was still moving though my mind wished for time to freeze. I just wanted to sleep.

My wolf was silent, it felt empty. He was tired too. He was my strength most days, yet I never allowed him out. It was a struggle, but I didn't think it was necessary for him to be out. I wasn't sure Pierce would like it if he was. Punishment? Is that what would happen? 

I wasn't sure when the sun fully went to bed, or when the darkness overtook the sky completely, but I never moved, and I didn't allow myself to succumb to the need for sleep. I would be a good Omega.

Time continued to pass and I wasn't sure how much time did go by before I started to hear something. Slowly I raised my head, I could make out his familiar foot steps in the distance. Pierce was home. His steps were familiar to my sensitive ears, his smell that had become slightly stale while he was gone would soon become fresh once more. I turned toward the entrance of the kitchen where he would come through, and waited patiently for him.