Ache and Hunger ~Complete~

Chapter 4: Adulting is hard

"Well you should. You've been nothing but a disappointment since you flunked out of college. I bet you haven't even been looking for a job. At least with Marcus you'll be set for life", My Mom spoke loudly, harshly, and without hesitation.

 I flinched at her words as I felt my eyes started to water. I hated it when she yelled at me, it made me shut down. A part of me realized that I held some power in this situation. 

I spoke flatly, "I'm hanging up."

I ended the call and put the phone back on the nightstand. I took in a few deep breaths as I tilted my head back. I didn't feel like crying so early in the morning. I laid back down in my bed and faced the wall.The sound of a ringtone filled the room, I ignored it.

 I wanted to just sleep, but she kept calling back. I grabbed my phone and turned it off and slipped it under my pillow. With it quiet, I slipped back to sleep in no time. I was allowed to cry in this dream, where no one would see. Where I could discern no one. 

Where the cool waves could take away my sadness. Floating in the water felt peaceful, that is until I felt like someone was looking at me. I sat up in the water and saw a figure of someone, far away at the other end of the beach. 

I reached for the figure, something inside me telling me that whoever they were, they were friendly. The next thing I know I'm laying in my bed, I roll over with a groan. I still felt so tired, I lifted my hand up to rub my eyes. The other hand went under my pillow to grab my phone, I turned it on and groaned louder at the sight of all the missed calls.

 All of them are from my mother. The time showed two in the afternoon, I decided that this could be a good point to start my day. I went on youtube and spend a few hours watching videos. Eventually, there wasn't anything new to watch from my usual youtubers. 

So, that conversation with my mom. I started to apply to local jobs online. I only did it to productively vent my anger, not because I thought my mother was right. I did want to pay rent and the only way to do that in a faster manner is to get a second job. I was just about done with filling out form after form online. My head was starting to hurt and I should probably eat something.

 At the thought of food, my stomach started to give me sharp pains, as if saying, "Yeah you dumb bitch, eat some fucking food".

I got out of bed and made it to the door frame, when colors started to dance in my vision. I shook my head lightly as I gripped the doorframe. I took in slow breaths, then I continued to make my way in the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips. I hauled everything back to by bed and ate under the covers.

 I grabbed my phone, and went to my favorite site to watch cartoons. I really needed something, not remotely adult to get my mind off of the stress that possibly no one will be hiring me. After one episode, I heard the front door open. For a moment, I wondered if I'd have to fight for my life. 

But the moment left when I heard Lilith's voice, "You're main bitch got pizza. Come and eat."

I grabbed my blanket, my phone, head phones, and the plate that now housed bread crumbs and an empty chips bag. I walked into the living room to see Lilith popping open the meat lovers large pizza.

I smiled at the sight, "Nice. How was your day lil?"

I tossed my phone, headphones, and blanket in the couch as I passed. I wanted to wash off my dish and put the trash in the trash before I got comfy.