Lover Boy ✩ Hardzello

0.4| opening up

Joe's P.O.V

Gwil quickly invited Lucy and I to come inside after our brief greeting.

I walked inside and hung my coat on the coat rack that was right inside the door and quickly walked over to the couch where Rami was sitting.

Rami is one of my closest friends.

Rami's face immediately lit up when I sat down with him. It had been about 3-ish months since we last seen eachother, and I know it doesn't sound very long but for us it felt like an eternity.

~~~

Rami and I talked about all sorts of things from music to acting to which type of apple is the best.

After my conversation with Rami he quickly got distracted by Lucy.

He's got a huge crush on her, but I think it's kind of cute.

I got up off the couch and walked over to Gwil who was leaning against the kitchen counter looking at something on his phone.

"Hey" I said with a smile

"...Oh hello Joe" he said looking up from his phone.

I leaned against the counter in front of him and we had a long conversation about music.

~~~
After about 15 minutes of just mindless rambling I went over to the record player that was sat on-top of a small table next to the couch.

I went through all of Gwil's albums and put on a personal favourite of mine

The White Album

I took the record out of it's sleeve carefully so I wouldn't scratch it and set it lightly on the turntable then slowly brought the needle over to get the music going.

I turned the volume on to a low setting just so we had something to listen to in the background.

~~~

After a few hours of talking I finally decided it was time to go home because it was getting dark out.

Rami decided to walk me back to my apartment building which wasn't very far but he insisted.

I said my goodbyes to Gwil and Lucy and gave them both a tight hug and walked out the door with Rami.

~~~

Once we made it into the elevator Rami asked the question I've been dreading this whole time

I knew one of them were gonna ask me this

"J, why haven't we talked in so long, what's going on?"

Shit

I put my hands in my pockets and looked at the ground.

"The last few months haven't been good for me....it's just been hard" I choked out quietly

I looked up to meet Rami's face and he just gave me this look of sympathy

~~~

He put his hand on my back to comfort me as we made our way out of the elevator.

"I'm sorry" I spoke in what was just above a whisper

"Don't be Joe, I understand" he was also being very quiet

That's when I noticed a single tear fall off my cheek and onto the cold sidewalk

I didn't want to cry

Not now

"....It's the dreams again.... they've been happening almost every night" my voice was shakey and hoarse

I heard Rami sigh quietly

~~~

After another 5 minutes of walking in silence he grabbed my wrist and steered me towards a park bench.

He wanted me to talk to him...about the nightmares

I didn't want to do this, I hate talking about this type of thing but Rami said it's best for me to talk to someone rather than keeping it all inside of me.

I finally decided to say something:

"They feel so real, but I can't do anything when they happen...I can't move...I feel paralyzed"

Rami wanted to know more, I knew he cared and that's why he was doing this....right? But I didn't want to talk anymore.

"Rami, I don't want to talk about it..." My voice started cracking again

Don't cry

Rami just nodded, signalling that I didn't need to say anymore.

I started chewing on my lip to keep myself from crying.

But that didn't do much.

After a little bit of sitting there with watery eyes I decided to let it all out.

I felt pathetic

Rami just brought me closer to him as he held onto me tightly while I let out gross sobs. My head was already hurting just from the sheer embarrassment of crying in front of someone.

~~~

I zoned out for a second and noticed how nice it felt to just be held while I cried.

I felt loved

I moved away from Rami and wiped my eyes on my coat sleeve. I looked over at him again and just whispered a quiet

"I'm sorry"

That was the second time I had apologized, I have a terrible habit of apologizing for stupid things

Rami just sighed and gave me a sad smile

"Joe, it's better if you talk to me rather than just not doing anything about it, don't apologize"

Something about that statement made me feel nice

We got up off the park bench and continued walking back to my apartment

~~~

The walk was fairly quiet except for the sound of the New York roads.

Once we reached my door Rami gave me a caring hug

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked

I shook my head and told him to just go back home but he had this look in his eye where I knew he was just going to insist upon staying.

"I'm okay really I am, just go back home" I was still being quiet

"Fine, but you get a hold of me if ANYTHING happens, ok?"

I nodded and gave him one last goodbye hug.

I went up to his ear and whispered a quiet

"Thank you"

He just looked at me and smiled.

He really did care.

~~~

That was a really long chapter and I'd say it was pretty bad but I'm trying to get better at this still lol
I'm thinking about introducing Ben some more in the next few chapters, since this is a hardzello story. And delving more into Joe's past so you guys get more of a sense of what's going on.

Thanks once again for reading loveys :)
Harrison🌹