One Foot in Front of the Other

Part 21

{Dianne}
Today is going to be a good day, I can just feel it. Yesterday me and Joe went to my place and collected the rest of my stuff- not that there was much of it- most was already at Joe's, seeing as I've practically lived here since the end of Strictly. Smiling to myself I notice Joe stood at the top of the stairs, oh. I'm certain he just asked me something.
"Um, okay." I guess, slightly too confidently. That's pretty much an answer to any question, right? Suddenly he erupts into laughter,
"You don't have a clue what I just asked you do you?" He takes my silence as an answer,
"Didn't think so, I asked you if you were going to catch this..." From behind the wall he pulls out a box, a huge box. Visions of me attempting to catch it and promptly failing flash through my mind,
"What on earth is that from?!" He looks confused,
"Um, the Christmas tree. That's why you're down there and I'm up here, I told you we're taking everything down, so I'll slide the boxes down to you." Ah, yes, that must have been what he was telling me earlier. Clearly he hasn't yet mastered the art of knowing when I'm actually listening. Although I feel slightly guilty now, as that's two things in a row that I haven't known about. Not my fault that I have the attention span of a three year old. At most. Yet again Joe pulls me out of my thoughts. I definitely need to get better at not zoning out,
"Sooo, are you ready to catch it?"
"B-b-but it'll flatten me!!" I splutter,
"No it won't. Anyway, I'm going to push it down the stairs- not throw it straight to you." At this last part he rolls his eyes, and I can't tell whether he's joking or he's actually annoyed. Oops. Sighing, I agree to catch the box,
"Okay, I'm ready." As he pushes it down the stairs it begins to make the worst noises known to man. Shocked, we both stare at it until it comes to a halt at my feet. Just as I open it Joe seems to have a brain wave,
"I should've probably taken the spare baubles out of it first..." He laughs, before turning deadly serious.
"...they weren't..." I look up from the box at him.
"Yes Joe, they were. They were all glass. I hope you didn't like them." I look down again to close the box and see the tiny shards of glass littering the bottom of it. You can bet your bottom dollar that I am not cleaning that one up. Not a chance.

{Joe}
"A plant!!" Raising my eyebrow I turn to look at Dianne.
"What?" Earnestly, she carries on,
"A plant!! That's what you need, to go where the Christmas tree was!!"
"Di I'm not 82."
"Are you saying Zoë is?" She's got me there. I open my mouth to make a snarky reply and immediately decide against it.
"I don't know how to look after plants."
"Then learn!!" For a few minutes I just sit, thinking it through. I know full well that she isn't going to back down.
"Okay..." Watching her face light up I continue,
"...but..." her smile falters, but she carries on looking at me, waiting for me to finish,
"...but not a big one." Expecting her to argue, I start making a mental list of reasons that we can't have a huge plant. Surprisingly I don't need to use them, as she comes over to me and kisses me on the cheek,
"Okay, whatever you say." This means that she thinks she'll be able to get her own way in the shop. Smiling, I decide to let her carry on thinking that.

{Dianne}
"I'm telling you this is not going to fit in the car!!" Joe's stressing out and I'm just stood laughing at him. We've bought the biggest plant in the whole shop even though he was certain that we weren't getting a big one. Obviously I knew I'd manage to convince him. This does mean, however, that I will 'owe' Joe for a little while, and he's definitely going to milk the situation. I can see it already- in three months time when neither of us can be bothered to do something it'll be, "But I bought that huge plant you wanted!!" I decide that I can live with all that just for this moment right now. Currently, Joe keeps standing next to the plant and then getting in the back of the car and laying down. It's a really poor attempt at measuring.
"Di are you even listening to me?..." When he sees I'm nodding he carries on,
"...it's not going to fit!!"
"Yes it is." I sigh and move over to help him, instructing him to lift the pot while I direct with the top of it. In about two minutes it's in the car perfectly.  Looking at Joe pointedly I smirk,
"Hate to say I told you so, butttt..."
"Shut up." He mumbles before getting in the car.

{Joe}
Pulling my camera out I begin to talk,
"Well-" then I'm interrupted by Dianne,
"Mission complete!!"
"We got our plant." I finish, before going on to talk about the car. We've still got the Merc, which is lucky, because I'm certain the plant that Di made me but wouldn't fit in any other car.
"Look at that, what is that?!" I exclaim whilst zooming into the plant on Dianne's knee,
"That is, that's called a bottled terifaneezya..." she trails off,
"Oh, I though that was a dinosaur?" I say whilst laughing, as I'm certain it's not called that,
"Oh a terriarium." She says.
"Terriarium." I echo, although I'm still not sure that sounds right. Di's rather proud of this shopping trip, I can tell. Probably because her mum is obsessed with plants as well. She starts to talk about how she's named the plants, and I can't stop smiling,
"Look at my joke, I've called this one Ferguson." I'm laughing a lot now,
"Why?!"
"Because a fern is a plant!!" She retorts, rather aggressively.
"That's not a fern!!"
"Yeah, but, it doesn't matter." When I shut the camera off I turn to look at Dianne.
"You're absolutely blimmin' mental, you know that don't you?"
"Yup!!..." She replies, before leaning over and kissing me quickly.
"...now drive!!"
"Yes ma'am." Letting go of Di's hand I pull forwards and we set off of for home.

{Dianne}
Why is Joe trusting me with holding his camera? Oh, that's right, probably because I can't lift the plant out of the car. Or he thinks I can't. Actually, I bet I'm stronger than him. I'll have to prove that sometime.
"Come on muscles!!" I joke, although at the same time it isn't a joke. Since starting strictly Joe has definitely become more toned, there's no denying that. He's waffling on about something or other, I only catch some of it so add a few funny comments in there.
"Do you reckon that's going to fit in the lift?" To be quite honest I hadn't thought of that,
"I dunno." He laughs and carries on getting the rest of the stuff out of the car. Once he reappears he starts telling me how mature he is, how he didn't get drunk on New Years or Christmas and has been plant shopping,
"Oh my God." I say in response, and he doesn't quite pick up the sarcasm in my voice, so adds a joke in,
"I need to go and set Byron on fire or something." This makes me laugh as I can imagine Joe trying to set Byron on fire. Not that I'd ever tell him this, but I'm pretty sure he'd come off worse. Biting my lip I debate over my response,
"You've got a girlfriend now that's why."