My Christmas Miracle

Chapter 32 - Rock

Cassandra

Mom stared back at me looking very overwhelmed and panicked like she was about to cry.

"I- I don't know!" She stuttered, sinking down to the floor.

"It just... I forgot and... and it slipped and..." suddenly Mom started breathing very heavily. Sweat was pouring from her forehead and her hands were trembling the most along with the rest of her body.

At that moment knew exactly what was going on.

She was having a panic attack, just like the ones she had right after Dad died.

Even though I had dealt with things like this in the past, it always managed to scare me and catch me off guard whenever one of them happened.

"Mom...?" I tried to ask without ended up sounding like a scared little kid.

It didn't work though.

"It's my fault." She repeated over and over again. The more she said it, the more she gasped for air.

At this point, I was terrified. "What do you mean Mom, you didn't do anything."

She scraped her fingers through her tangled curls and whispered with her head bowed in shame, "I did it. I killed your father. It's my fault." She was sobbing at this point and it took everything in me not to slump down on the ground and join her. It was all too much for me to handle.

No, I couldn't do that. She needed me right now and I had to be strong. Even if it would end up tearing me apart from the inside out first.

I wrapped my arms around her quaking, fragile body. "C'mon Mom, you know that isn't true. It was an accident. Just an unfortunate, terrible accident.

She nodded but still looked like she had just seen a ghost.

We sat like that until her breathing started going back to normal and her uncontrollable shaking diminished. The tears still kept coming down though.

After a while, she managed to wipe her eyes on her sleeve and slowly stood up. I bolted upright to help her, making sure she stayed ok and wasn't overcome with another attack.

Mom gave me an appreciative smile but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks, Cass. I'm really sorry I put you through all that. As I child you shouldn't have to go through that much stress because of me. You are my rock, you know that right? Keeping me tethered in my worst moments." She chuckled a bit and I tried to smile along with her.

Glancing at the clock on the wall across from me, Mom sighed and smoothed down the edge of her shirt. "It's late. You should really get to sleep, Cass." At first, I was hesitant. I mean, what if she had another panic while I was asleep? I had already lost one of my parents, I didn't need to lose another.

It was like she knew what I was thinking because her lips thinned into a straight line as she tried to flash me a convincing smile that ended up looking more like a grimace than anything else.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. If I need you I'll call or something but for now, try to get some sleep. You're a growing kid, you need it."

I had no choice other than to nod in agreement and make my way up the stairs, silently.

After going up a few steps, I turned around ever so slightly, expecting Mom to be right behind me but instead she was still on the floor watching me climb up.

I gave her a confused look before asking, "Aren't you coming with me?"

When the words escaped my lips, her cheeks flushed a bright pink and she glanced down at the floor sheepishly. "I was thinking that it would be a better idea if I slept on the couch tonight."