Time & Tide - Original Wattpad Version

Chapter Twenty-Eight: In Which Jessie Doubts

No letter had arrived by the time us three ladies piled into a hired coach to take us to the first way-station between Bath and Godersham. We'd worked out that we could afford a private coach up to the first inn, and that we would have to travel by Mail the rest of the way, but it wasn't so bad because we only had the two trunks between us, and a basket of provisions. We weren't staying long - just a week for the lead up to the wedding, and then off right after Francis and Elizabeth themselves set out on their honeymoon.

I managed to nap on the first leg, chastely on the opposite side of the carriage from Margaret. Rose sat beside her, ostensibly reading a book but cutting us both looks every few minutes as if she expected us to start giggling and being naughty. Okay, well, we did have a habit of being naughty behind closed doors, when we were alone together. But we were hardly alone here. Rose always shot us dirty looks for being too noisy, or cheerful, or boisterous, so I didn't think much of it. She wasn't stuck up or stuffy, just that she preferred her back-library classroom and solitary pursuits to be quiet, and now that Margaret had more to do with her life than writing, accounts, sewing, visiting neighbors she didn't care about, and long walks to avoid said visits, Rose seemed to... well, she didn't take exception, it wasn't that.

I hadn't supplanted Rose as Margaret's sister. But I yanked Margaret out of her comfort zone, showed her how to cook, took her to art galleries, and outdoor concerts with picnics, and increasingly, to just go to a cafe and people-watch when we could steal the time. I made her laugh, I made her dance. And perhaps Rose didn't disapprove, but she didn't expect my friendship to have this effect on their lives. I did my best not to be disruptive of course, and to be respectful. But there were only so many kinds of dates you could bring your 'wife' on when you couldn't be openly together, openly married, just... open.

If Rose knew what Margaret and I really were to one another, maybe we wouldn't be on the receiving end of her stink-eye so often. But then, if Rose really knew, if everyone really knew and didn't care, we could really be married and take advantage of Margaret's dowry to live alone. And Rose would have all the peace and quiet she wanted.

Mrs. Goodenough sat beside me in the carriage, head pillowed on my shoulder as she napped alongside me. I didn't mind; she was a chubby, kindly lady and while she never treated me as a daughter, she was thoughtful and gentle, if a bit airheaded when it came to the family purse. She reminded me a lot of my grandmother, whom I'd lost in my first year of university.

The subsequent carriage rides and inn-stays over the next few days were cramped, sweating, exhausting, and frustrating. More than once I wanted to wrench the horsewhip from the coachman's hands and use it on some manspreading arsehole in the back, but I managed to hold both my tongue and my temper all the way to Godersham.

We were picked up at the coaching in by Francis in a handsome open-aired carriage Margaret told me was called a barouche. I didn't care what it was called, just that it was back to the four of us finally, and the open top meant that I could take my fill of the stars as we drove to the Gale House.

"Feeling introspective?" Margaret asked, leaning over to almost whisper it in my ear.

"Of course," I said, dropping my gaze to where Francis sat beside the driver, having a lively conversation about the capture of Buenos Aires a couple of weeks earlier, and how the Batavian Republic had become the Kingdom of Holland and what that meant for Gin Trade. Francis' manners were open and easy, his hair a wind-blown mess and his cheeks red from sea salt and exposure. He really looked like a "Fly" now. God, he looked happy.

I never realized how grim and drawn he had seemed before. I assumed it was his worry for me that had him looking so down and sleepless, but even after he'd got me settled with the ladies, he had looked that way. Now I could see that he was unburdened.