11: The Black and the Blues

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Samuel slouched on the hard, wet floor of the landing

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Samuel slouched on the hard, wet floor of the landing. Drenched and fatigued from searching the murky lake for over twenty minutes straight to no avail. Brent was gone. There was no trace of him. Not his helmet. Not even a shoe. Nothing. Almost as if he had never existed.

Samuel stared at the ground in an exhausted daze, panting heavily through his mouth. His tears mixed with the water on his cheeks as they streamed down his face.

"Sorry," was all that managed to come out of my mouth. I couldn't imagine the pain Samuel was forced to endure. What I felt was possibly a fraction of his agony. Years of him loving Brent must've made the pain of losing him unbearable. Somewhat similar to what I had experienced after tragedy took my parents before their time. Now to lose Jace and Brent to this cave made me relive that tragic time and question my purpose once again.

"The Standing Stone card, the spirals ... you," I looked to Blamore. "What does it all mean?"

"You don't accept." Blamore stood at a comfortable distance from the rest of us yet something about him drew me in, distracting me from my lingering pain.

I aimed the beam of my helmet light at him, observing his transformed demeanor, his strong stance, his body language, his ... eyes. They were no longer dark and void of color. They looked back at me with an intense, absorbing blue. "What don't I accept?" I watched the light bounce from his lengthy, wet and wavy hair and studied his face for anything resembling a scar, wrinkle or blemish to no avail.

"You don't accept the life you were given." He lowered his head shamefully as if he somehow understood the embarrassment in such a statement.

His words triggered a memory of an earlier vision.

A familiar face. Jace showcases his cunning grin. The sting of betrayal engulfs me, yet anger doubles and heartbreak subsides. Samuel places his hand on his lover's shoulder and simultaneously they turn, facing away. Cecil eagerly embraces a male figure, his head guiltily lowers. Blamore's eyes come into focus, bright and . . . stunningly blue. Each person is standing side by side, facing the entrance to a dark cave with a symbol engraved above the mouth of the opening. Large, vicious fangs penetrate through the entrance, emerging from the stone, and an evil snarl shakes me.

Puzzled yet fascinated by his smooth voice and unbroken English, curiosity gave me courage as I slowly approached. "I know there's more to life. I know I have a purpose other than sitting in a dusty old shop helping everyone else get their lives together. I know this is a path I was supposed to take, but are you suggesting I'm mistakenly looking for purpose or meaning in these signs and symbols?"

His wet cotton T-shirt clung to his torso. The lines and grooves that defined his muscles showed through the thin fabric. "Like me, you know you don't belong there."

Cecil's jaw dropped. "Blamore?"

He bashfully looked up to her, giving his full attention. "Yes?"

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