Will to Live

Narcissus

She spent two days puzzled. When the walls of the castle began to be able to be made out, her stomach began to hurt. She felt as if she could hardly see. Her heart beat faster. She balled up the hem of her sleeve in her sweaty fist and twisted it. The castle grew larger on the horizon. She felt as if a mouse was running in circles in her stomach. She forced herself to breathe normally. The wagon stopped at the main entrance. The flowers nodded politely. Adelaide grabbed her little bundle of things. The soldiers forced her up the wide steps and into the castle. The walls pressed towards her as if they wanted to pick her up and see what had changed. She walked slower and slower. They pushed her to move faster. She knew every inch of this hall. Of this floor. Yet, somehow, she felt as if she was a stranger in this place.

And then the soldiers stopped. They saluted to a figure at the top of the stairs. Herzog Reikhoff. He stared. His face turned white. Adelaide noticed how much older he looked. The baby fat was all gone and had been replaced by a strong jawline with a little bit of stubble. His hair was longer and was pulled back.

They stared at each other.

"You look—older," he ventured. Adelaide snorted and walked away. The soldiers jumped after her. They grabbed her and dragged her back. Herzog Reikhoff was gone. They continued on. They were almost to the stairs that led to the dungeon when another soldier ran up.

"The Herzog wishes to hold audience with the Pfalzgrafin in the throne room."

The soldiers obediently turned in that direction. Adelaide rolled her eyes but did as she was told.

They hustled her into the big throne room. It looked much the same. Herzog Reikhoff sat on the throne. The tall man stood beside him. What was his name? Adelaide couldn't remember.

"What do you want?" She crossed her arms and stared at him. She didn't curtsy.

"How dare you speak to the Herzog in that manner! Make the proper obeisance, wench." The tall man lifted his chin.

"Yeah, I don't want to. Now, why did you bring me back?"

"I—I—" Herzog Reikhoff looked accusingly at the tall man. "You told me she was dead."

"It was easier for you, Herzog."

"Why did you lie to me? All these years I thought she was dead."

"Oh, I'm supposed to be dead? Hang on, let me just go fix that," Adelaide said and turned to exit the room. The soldiers pushed her back.

"Unwin?" Herzog Reikhoff looked down his nose at the man.

"I wanted to protect you."

"From what?"

The tall man was silent.

"Unwin, answer me."

"Yeah, Unwin. Answer your Herzog. Why don't you be more respectful?" Adelaide said.

"Quiet, wench," the soldier behind her hit her.

"Who taught you your manners?" Unwin stared at her. His jaw and fists clenched.

"Who taught you to hide things from your ruler?" She shot back, tossing her head. "You seem to be in charge here, so you can answer my question. If he didn't know I was alive, why did you bring me back?"

Unwin straightened and glared harder. "You don't need an answer, shrew."

"Ooh, name calling. Pretty weak, even for you."

"What's going on?" Herzog Reikhoff asked again.

"May I tell you, my lord, when ahem certain company is gone?"

"I suppose." Herzog Reikhoff said uncertainly.

"All these years? What's that supposed to mean?" Adelaide asked.

"Don't you know how long you've been gone, Adelaide?"

"We're not on a first-name basis anymore, Herzog. No, I don't. I wouldn't be asking if I did, would I?"

"You've been gone for two years."

Adelaide stared a little impudently.

"You're sixteen now."

"No, really. I thought I was eighty-one."

"Don't be impudent, wench." She'd made an enemy of Unwin.

"Last I checked, I'm royalty and you're not. So, I don't care."

"You're asking to get your tongue cut out."

"No! Don't hurt her!" Herzog Reikhoff's eyes were wide.

"He's not gonna hurt me." Adelaide rolled her eyes.

Herzog Reikhoff looked down. "I—I—have you been happy?"

"Oh fabulous. I love being exiled to live in the woods where we can't even go out of the fence sometimes to get food because of the wolves. It's a blast."

"What do you do for fun there?"

"Fun?" Adelaide snorted. It was an unladylike sound that made the Herzog wince. "You mean what work did I enjoy the most? I like hunting. Give me a bow, a knife, and a few arrows and I'll go kill things. Maybe you for starters."

"I see you've lost all your ladylike ways." Unwin observed.

"I don't mind." Herzog Reikhoff said.

"Are we done yet?" Adelaide said. "I'm anxious to get to my cell. Got things to do, you know. Like sitting and wishing I was hunting."

The Herzog waved to the guards. Adelaide turned and started to walk away. The guards followed.

"She'll be more respectful next time, Herzog." Unwin said.

"Why didn't you tell me? All this time and I didn't know!" The Herzog was yelling.

"Oh no, did I get Unwin in trouble?" Adelaide said. One of the guards snickered.

The cell door rattled behind her and the guards disappeared. Her cell wasn't terrible. There was a bed with a thin straw mat. There were two long, thin openings in the wall that let in sunlight. In the corner was a washbasin and beside it was a desk. A folded blanket was placed on this.

Adelaide plopped her little bundle down on the bed and lay beside us. She stared up at the ceiling. Why was she here—back home?