Godly Sins (Nct ff)

Chapter 38

-Johnny POV-

   It's been two days since Y/n died.

   The other gods wanted me to rest more, but I couldn't.

   Resting lead to too many say thoughts, all about one person... all about Y/n.

   I still remember the way that her hands felt on me.

   I couldn't see her but I could tell that I wasn't the only one of crying.

   And where she left to, god knows where, to complete some dangerous task that could result in permanent death, or worse.

   And even through all the work, she was all I could think about.
I mean how could I possibly think of anything else.

   That my Y/n is dead and on some impossible journey and I have no idea where or how much danger she is in or how scared she is and that I can't protect her. That I couldn't protect her. And she is where she is right now because of me.

   There is no words to describe this feeling. The raw aching feeling that people feel after losing a loved one. Only ten times worse. Perhaps even a hundred times worse.

   "Johnny... Johnny! Hello!"

   Suddenly I snap back into this cruel reality.

   Taeyong was waving his hands infront of my face, trying to get my attention.

   I know I used to zone out before but these past few days I always did.

   Even though I tried to bury myself in work to not think about her, it never worked.

   Taeyong looked at Johnny, "Come on, you need to smile. Y/n will be alright."

   "Alright." I said trying to fake a smile.

   It was a struggle to pretend like everything was going to be okay.

   Especially when I didn't even know if she was ever coming back. I mean if she is dead it's not like anyone is going to come and tell me. ~oh she's like permanently dead, sorry.~

   So far her body looks fine, her skin doesn't look pale and no decomposing. Which is a good sign that she hasn't failed.

   I would know, since I visits her everyday and talk to her. I know that sounds creepy, talking to a dead body. But we never know when she will awaken, or if she'll awaken.

   I'm sure she will... she has to.
   And as for talking to her... it comforts me. It makes me feel like she's just sleeping, or that she will hear me and magically awaken.

   I'd cry... if I could.
   I've been crying so much when I was alone and not working, even sometimes while we were working.

   The other gods all looked at me worriedly.

   I know it's hard on them too, but I keep pushing them way.

   They've tried multiple times to approach me and talk about it.

   I push them away every time.

   I can't sit and talk about feelings when the love of my life is dead and suffering even in the afterlife.

   So I work... and I work... and I'll keep on working, until my dear Y/n wakes up.

-Taeyong POV-

   As he sat working with Johnny he could see that he was only getting worse, so he tried talking to him.

   "Come on, you need to smile. Y/n will be alright."

   Johnny looked up from his stack of papers and smiled, "Alright."

   Taeyong sighed knowing that he was only faking it. All the others tried to take him out to town but he wouldn't leave Y/n out of his sight for longer than a second.

   He stood up and went to the door and when he looked back to Johnny he seen that he didn't even notice him getting up. When he stepped into the hallway he seen someone heading his way.

   When the man got closer he seen that it was Doyoung, "Hey Doyoung, is everything okay? You're supposed to be working at the capital."

   Doyoung shook his head, "I need to talk to Johnny."

   "I don't think he wants to talk to anyone right now, we've all tried."

   "You don't understand, its about Y/n."

   Taeyong looked at him confused, "What are you talking about? Do you know something?"

   Doyoung nodded, "Yes. Now let me talk to Johnny."

   "Alright, but I want to go in with you."

   "Okay."

   Taeyong turned back around and opened to door to Johnnys room, "Hey Johnny, Doyoung has something to say."

   Johnny looked up from his work, "Yes?"

   Doyoung sat down in front Johnny, "Do you know where Y/n is?"

   Johnny narrowed his eyes at him, "Yes. She's in the room across the hall."

   Doyoung shook his head, "I don't mean physically. When she died she wanted to find a way back. So do you know where she went?"

   Johnny shook his head, "No, no I don't."

   "She's in the underworld, I felt her presence last night. I came as soon as I could to tell you."

   "Why? Why is she in the underworld?"

   "Well, I'm not sure. But I think she's trying to make a deal with a demon."

   "Why would she do that. Doesn't the Guardian of the Two Gates have the ability to bring her back to life?"

   Doyoung nodded, "Yes, that's why it doesn't make sense. Nobody's been able to successfully make a deal with a demon, and the Guardian knows this so I don't know why they would make Y/n go through this."

   "Is there anything you can do? You have to be able to get her out, right?"

   "I may be the god of the underworld but as long as I'm still alive and breathing I can't step foot in the underworld."

   "So you're telling me that my love is trying to do something that thousands of people have failed only to end up dead, and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it?"

   "All we can do is wait. Because the guardian could have brought her back. But they didn't."

   "Do you think they have something planned."

   "It's a possibility."