What Was Ours

3K. Inner thoughts

"Has he called you?" Jimin asks, as soon as he steps inside the room.

"It's none of your business," I say regretting how the words came out. "I'm sorry." I feel bad for snapping on him; when he's only looking out for my well being.

"You've been a bad mood for a like two weeks. I assume it's because he hasn't called you. I know you didn't fight because you would've been upset since last time you spoke. You been asking if he's called—something wrong?"

I'm not sure, if there is. I know Hyungie is at school and probably studying hard but I miss his weekly calls. It has been two weeks since his last call. I would receive a message daily but there's no unread messages on my phone. I'm worried because it's been two weeks and I know nothing. No sign of him. I'm tempted to go see his grandfather but I don't really know the man.

"He's got school," I excuse him. I'm looking for any excuse to keep believing in his promises. Jimin can see that it's more for me then him.

"You're right, sorry. You know, I only want the best for you. How about we go out to eat? We haven't gone out in a while. It'll be like old times." He's trying to lighten up my mood and I can't deny him. He's trying to get me out of my rotten mood. I nod before I change my mind.

"Good! Here let me give you a hand." Jimin, my angel, smiles. He's the best man anyone can ask for. It should've been him, I should've waited to come back and marry him. He was a safe bet. He helps me get up, and I'm thankful because it's been getting hard to sit and stand. My belly keeps getting bigger and aches are becoming a constant. I don't like the pains but I'll endure them any day—for I'm having a wonderful baby girl.

When we get back from eating I check our books. I want to make sure we are heading in the right path with this place. It's all we have and they've been working hard to make a lot of the very little we have. It has helped that Mister Kim has "gifted" us certain seeds, and animals for taking care of Hyungie but it was too much. I'll pay it back, one day.

It's hard to tell if we are actually making any profits. It all seems to go back into the house, farm and were left with no real earnings. I suppose, it's just enough to get by, for now.

I'm startled when my phone rings. I take a look before deciding to take or dismiss the call. I wanted to finish this, it needed to be put up to date. Except that it'll have to wait.

"Hyungie!" I answered quickly, as soon as I saw his name light up my phone screen. I'm content to finally receive a call. I'm so happy and relieved, at the same time. It's easy to tell by my voice.

"Jinnie, I'm sorry! I know I haven't called you or texted you in forever but I lost my phone and my parents didn't want to buy me a new one. It took me a while to convince them. I would've asked grandfather but I couldn't remember his phone number. I know, it's stupid. I'm sorry, if I caused for you to worry. Enough about me. How are you?" I knew he could continue to ramble about the incident and I'd be glad to listen because it's been so long since I last heard his voice. My yearning heart may be over exaggerating but it's good to hear his voice.

"You've got to be more careful, Hyungie. We missed you." I manage to say, as I'm trying to contain tears but it's difficult. It must be the changes in hormones because I don't think I was ever this emotional or perhaps I'm just excusing myself. I missed him more than I thought.

"I miss you too. I've been thinking about you two. I know the date is approaching. Our Jisoo will have to wait for me to get back before deciding to come into this world." I wish I could see his face.

"I don't think it works that way. She'll be ready, when she's ready. Are you coming here for the holidays?" I want to know if he'll spend his time here or if he has prior commitments with his family. They probably want him with them after causing them trouble.

"I'll be there for winter break. I don't think I'll be coming before then. I'm on probation with my parents, they're still mad I ran away. That's why it's been hard to get my way. It's not like they let me get or have everything but it's been hard."

I'm glad he'll be here in time for her birth. I think, it'll be great to have him here for it. My baby misses his constant caresses and his voice because nothing will calm her down until she hears his voice. I know, I've missed it too. It's crazy to think I've become so fond of him in a short amount of time.

"Did you get the pictures I sent of the last visit? She's growing so big, she's healthy too." I change the subject. It's best to forgive and move on.

We continue to talk for over an hour before he has to hang up. The books are long forgotten and I'm too entranced to keep track of things. It was good to hear his voice, good to know he's healthy, and know I'm still have a residence in his heart. He hasn't forgotten about me. He hasn't forgotten about us.

"Daddy hasn't forgotten us." I tell Jisoo. He hasn't, he's making sure we're okay. I caress my belly, wanting to feel a kick. It feels wonderful when he's here, even with miles in between I can feel he cared for.

One thing, I've decided in the last two weeks, I was going to marry Hyungie. Perhaps, it's a quick "on whim" decision but I felt like it would be a good one. This could be the one of the better decisions I ever made for myself and for my child. If Hyungie came back for us, I'll give him an answer without hesitating; but for now it was just Jisoo and I. I'll get us through somehow. We'll be okay, until the day he comes back for us. And if he doesn't, we'll be okay too, we have all the love we need here.

We don't need Mister Jeon in our lives, he's in the past and will continue to remain there. Of course, I'll tell Jisoo about him, how he has other children and how she should be careful. It's easy to trust but it's harder to fix what's broken and sometimes impossible. I'll tell her my story and hope she'll have a better life and one with less mistakes than mine. It's probably best to go to bed. It's less stressful.

I sit back not wanting to overthink it. I grab a book from the nightstand before fully relaxing. I read it out loud which has become a custom, since Hyungie left. He said that Jisoo would recognize me by my voice—she recognizes his. Today, I read one of my favorite stories because I want to feel closer to my Jisoo.

"Reading again?" Jimin plops next to me.

"Yeah, going to listen?" I smile and make enough room for him. He nods and I continue reading my favorite childhood story. I'm glad I have company. Everyday I feel more at ease and blessed. We are at a good place. Everything that's bothering me is going to be alright. I have faith that things are looking up.

February 14, 2019
Happy Valentines/Galantines Day
If this chapter gets a 100 votes by tonight I'll post the next chapter.