With You

Chapter 46: In a Daze

Upon reaching home, Nico discards everything she was carrying onto the floor. Without a care for whether they were neatly placed at where they should be, she traipsed towards her bed and collapses onto it. Her entire body ached in protest and she was utterly spent. Mastering whatever energy she had left, she flipped onto her back and stares blankly at the ceiling above her.

After what seemed like an eternity of blatantly staring at her room's ceiling, which was completely white, save for a few discreet cracks, the third year finally moves. Fishing her mobile phone out from her pocket, she notes with dismay that there was not a single notification from Maki-chan.

Scrolling through her messages, she clicks on her chat with Maki. The last text that Maki sent her, asking her to meet at the roof, stared back at her. She felt her heart wrench.

Wisely choosing to ignore it, the raven haired drafts a new text.

Maki-chan, I know something is bothering you and making you say those weird things. But, whatever it is, I am here for you and you can share it with me when you feel comfortable doing so. If you need some space, I can give you some. Please don't push me away...like you did this afternoon.
I love you.

Nico presses 'send'.

There isn't an immediate reply from the scarlet haired, unlike usually. But a slow reply is expected, especially after today's rather shocking turn of events. The sable haired attempts to console herself with that thought. With a heavy heart and an utterly sore body, the raven haired wills herself to leave her bed.

Standing under the cascading shower, Nico absent-mindedly washes herself, holding her face up to the torrent. The water was hot and it stung her skin. It was numbing. Nico welcomes the distraction of the blistering hot water as she contemplated the last couple of hours. So much had happened within such a short time. It is staggering. Nico shakes her head, distressed as she tries to assimilate all the information she had.

She cannot wrap her head around it. Or rather, she doesn't want to.

She steps out of the shower and stares at her own reflection. Though the entire bathroom was misty, she could still make out her own appearance in the mirror. Her eyes are puffy and red, from all the crying. She looks exhausted. Very exhausted.

Shaking her head once more to clear her thoughts, she dries herself before deciding that she should probably have an early night instead of pondering over the conundrum that was her enigmatic girlfriend.

Maki didn't mean what she said. Maki will come round. Nico's thoughts continue to plague her into the early hours until she eventually fell into a fitful, exhausted sleep.

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Nico wakes up with a start, her eyes springing open as she is abruptly jolted back to reality. She scans her surroundings anxiously, her entire shirt drenched in cold sweat. Glancing at her alarm clock, it reads 6:33am. It must have been a dream. A dream where it was cold, dark and scary. A dream where no matter how she called out to Maki, the scarlet haired kept walking further and further away, never once turning back. A dream where Maki's words from yesterday echoed over and over in the background, in a terribly shrill and eerie voice. I don't love you anymore.

Drawing in deep breathes, the sable haired snaps out of her daze and sits herself up. She was now widely awake, having been rudely awakened by such an unpleasant dream. Rubbing her eyes, she ignores the fact that every inch of her body screams in protest as she shuffles towards the bathroom.

When she was done washing up and getting ready for a long day at school, her mobile phone catches her eye. A flickering light at the tip right of her cellphone signaled a new notification. With a gnawing worry at the back of her mind that it might not be from who she wanted it to be from, she picks up the small piece of technology and powers it up.

We have broken up, Nico-chan. It is over between us.

Albeit the text message came from Maki, as the third year had hoped, the message was undoubtedly not what she had wanted. The message conveyed the same clipped and brusque tone it did as yesterday. It was harsh and cruel. Nothing short of brutal.

Tears swim in the raven haired's eyes and begins to spill down her face. She stares at the black, bold words, the hollow in her chest expanding.

Suddenly, the misery and frustration bubbling within her all becomes too much to bear, all too painful to think about.

She still had a day of school to survive through and she couldn't afford to appear puffy eyed and pale skinned, in front of her classmates. Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand in the most un-ladylike manner, she rushes to a mirror in her room to make last minute preparations.

In the large mirror on the wall, she takes a long, hard look at her own face. She looks gaunt, haunted even. The sable haired pinches her own cheeks twice, in hope of bringing some color their way. Tidying her hair, she takes a deep breath. This will have to do.

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Staring out of the huge glass window of the classroom, Nico allows her vision to go out of focus. Her mind was blank, her heart void of emotions as she just sat, staring.

Nico stopped questioning things, for, it was like searching for an answer that never existed. It was easier to just zone out and stop thinking. She was happier this way. It hurt less and it was significantly more peaceful this way.

Teacher after teacher walked in, taught their lessons and left. But Nico had no interest, no energy to listen to whatever gibberish they had to say. Staying this way, not thinking, not moving, was the only way to keep her tears at bay. She simply had no capacity for more.

Nico wasn't even aware when the end of the day came and when the usual, sonorous school bell reverberated throughout the whole school.

Shortly after the school bell rang, the third year was abruptly dragged out of her reverie. "Nico-chan!" Came a loud, shrill voice from the door at the entrance of the classroom door.

At the entrance of her classroom door stood an ever familiar first year.

-To be continued-