MONTGOMERY (STARSHIPS TRILOGY, BOOK 1) ✔

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

You Trip, You Stumble

When Jordan and I return to the house, we avoid each other. Every time we happen to be in the same room, we march in the opposite direction. Worse, we share a knowing smile on our way out. Because holy mackerel, I enjoyed kissing Jordan too much. Worse than that? Jake hasn't been back since he walked out this morning. Naia hasn't seen him. My dweeb brothers haven't seen him. I almost don't want him to come back. Okay, almost.  He has to return because he's a great first mate. 

"You're hiding from someone," Joshua says when he joins me on the backstairs. "Wanna talk about it?"

I sigh, "What do you do when you're sort of in a relationship and the guy is all over the place and you kiss someone else in spite of them?"

"Whoa, who'd you kiss? Jordan?"

I don't answer right away, but I regret not making an attempt to deny the accusation. I mean, he's not accusing me, but shouldn't I say something?

"Have you or Jake made promises yet?" Joshua asks, sitting beside me with a grunt. "Mmm, my poor knees."

I laugh, "Um, sort of. If you count my demand that we don't engage in any physical until our wedding night if that's the direction we go. I might have told him I don't want his eyes wandering . . . Does that count?"

"It does. Has he asked for anything in return?"

I shake my head slowly as I think over every conversation.

"Not really."

"Hmm, and have you thought about turning to God for His help?" Joshua asks, cool as a cucumber.

"Sadly, I haven't," I reply, my voice growing soft.

"Why not? Do you not trust Him to guide you and help you in a relationship?"

"No, I just . . . I don't feel like my relationship questions and desires are worth asking for help on."

"I hate to break it to you, but that's where you are wrong. Every little thing you bring to God, He listens and guides you in making the right decisions. He also opens your eyes to seeing your potential counterpart as He sees them and whether they are a fit for you or not."

I sigh, nodding.

"So, what do you think of all this with Jake . . . and Jordan?"

The pastor sighs, "Do you really wanna know what I discern?" he asks, offering a smile.

"Give it to me straight," I reply, looking to the back fence.

"You're testing the waters and God is letting you see how things would be with Jake."

"Right, but what about Jordan?"

"He cares about you and while he has regrets about decisions he's made recently, he means well with his intentions."

I sigh, frowning.

"We all trip and stumble at least once in our lives," Joshua goes on, patting my shoulder. "Some people more than others, but it's part of growing into who we will be."

"Then how do I handle this mess right now?" I ask.

"Pray and let God handle it. You do not need to handle it all on your own."

***

Jake still hasn't come back. So I've decided to let my mind relax and forget he ever existed. For a couple of hours anyway. I've taken to reading the Bible in my room. It's an old copy and belonged to my mother. It's the only possession of hers left in the entire world. I'm pretty sure Dad burned everything else.

"Ryan?"

I look up from my reading when Jake knocks on the door.

"Yeah?" I ask, looking back down.

"I think we need to talk."

My gaze flies back to his remorseful expression when he says those words.

"Then let's talk," I tell him, motioning to the edge of the bed. Jake heaves a sigh as he closes the bedroom door and walks over.

"I'm not good for you," he says bluntly. "I do nothing to better myself, or you for that matter. The smallest, most insignificant things make me mad and jealous. If we were going to have a true relationship, I wouldn't act that way at all. I'd trust you more. I'd give you more than I'm taking . . . I think I need to leave you alone."

I'm having convulsions in my chest. My heart is pounding unnaturally, and not in a good way. I wasn't expecting Jake to initiate a breakup. But I wasn't expecting to react this way either.

"If that's how you feel," I clear my throat and look away. "Do what you think is best. I agree about some of the things you mentioned, but I honestly thought we'd work through them."

"I did too, but thinking over the several times I've let things get in the way . . . I don't see how we can."

Without another word, Jake steps toward me and kisses the top of my head, and walks away. I don't look up as the door opens and closes.