This feeling i feel isn't sadness.
it isn't anger.
it isn't anything that could be expressed in one word,it needs paragraphs to get even close.
It isn't a scary thing in particulair.
It's only their when happyness or sadness is here.
It feeds like a beast on emotions, it changes them.
No one really understands what it is or how to help, cause its like the flu. You know you Will and can get better but it comes back everytime.
It changes it's voice acordingly. If i'm happy it Will sound like my past if i'm scared it Will sound like my future.
It isn't eating Ice Cream on the couch alone.
It isn't crying on a friends shoulder.
It's being afraid of your own hands
It's being lonely in a crowd.
It's being afraid of feeling while feeling is the only thing you are capable off.
It is doubting everything you know.
It's feeling no joy at all when doing the things you know you love while this feeling isn't here.
It's pushing people away do they don't get to hurt you.
It is barely hanging on when you're friends that stayed after the pushing away phase ask if you're okay.
It is living in a body that survives with a mind who is set on giving you a hard time.
It's a never ending cycle
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts and memories
PoetryJust random bits and pieces i write when i don't know how to cope with anything really.
