Thoughts and memories

Cold air and sunrays

I want to die but that is okay, don't worry.
It's weird how that has become a normal sentence for me. I know it's partially my fault. I should take my medication yet i forget. But honestly as much as i hate that feeling.

I love the feeling off laying in bed, i love the feeling of listening to sad songs while feeling my eyes get watery. I love the feeling of the rain on my exposed skin. The cold air that came through my window finally meeting my skin. I love the way it feels. So comfertable yet painfull. The past that haunts me.

I love not knowing what to do.

But then i realise i also love the feeling of sun Rays on my face. I love the feeling of the warmth of the sun. I love the cold water that envelops me in it's grip when jumping into the pool. I love talking to friends. I love going to the movies with people.

I love having awnsers to my own problems.

But Dang that feeling of crying is so satisfying when i get home. Crying because that is the only way i can deal with what has happened.

Loving you is the most selfless thing i have ever done
It's a shame you ran away.

I want to die but that is okay, don't worry