Bound to you

Say It Again

I knew Roger was drunk, but he hadn't been when I got the call and told him about tonight. He wasn't drunk at the studio when I called either. "I never ask anything of you. I clean up after a wild show, I go to the scummy bars you like, I even let you come back after you cheated on me. The least you could've done was be there for me." I spat at him. "Been there for you? What're you talking about, love?" He still didn't remember. "Ronnie really loves my work, especially the ones about you." My anger turning to disappointment quickly, all the words of love I had written about Roger flooding my mind.

"I have seen your darkest nights and brightest days and I want you to know that I will be here forever loving you in dusk." My emotions consuming me again as I spoke and a realization covers Roger's face when he finally remembers what tonight was. "That was his favorite. You think he'd still love it if he knew how heartbroken I was when I wrote it?" Plump warms tears began trailing down my face. "Memphis," he began walking towards me, but I pushed off the counter and made my way to our room so I could start packing. I didn't see us coming back, not from this one. "I completely forgot about the dinner, I'm so sorry." He said as he followed me in.

"No you're not. If it doesn't concern the band or you, you don't care." I harshly bit at him as I pulled my suitcase out from under the bed. He watched me with wide eyes, not sure of what to say to me anymore. "Don't do this, please. You know how I get when we're recording, it's the only thing on my mind an-" "That's why I called the studio." I said, cutting him off as I started pulling shirts off hangers. "Reminding you for a second time about this dinner. But you were more worried about getting a drink after than anything else. I really hope those beers were worth it, Rog." "Do you expect me to put you before the band?" My body froze at his words, shocked that they had even come out of his mouth.

"When have I ever asked to come before the band?" I pinched my brows together looking up at him. "When." I repeated myself. He just stood there looking between my half full suitcase and my soaked eyes. We both knew I never had and never would. I knew how much the band and those 3 guys meant to him, I would never imagine asking him to give them up for me. "Never." I snapped at him after he didn't have an answer for me. "I never asked to come before the fucking band, I've always been by your side through everything you did with them. I've canceled plans so I could come to shows, lost sleep so I could be by your side when you came off stage, and there to carry you home after an after party."

He just stood there starring at me, still incapable of forming words it seems. I leaned over the suitcase I was slowly filling up. "I can't do this anymore, Roger." "Do what? We don't have to go to the after parties anymore we ca-" "I mean us." I couldn't look at him. I heard his feet moving across the floor as he made his way beside me, still careful not to touch me. "I didn't mean to do this Memphis, to miss this dinner, I just got distracted and lost track of time. We don't have to breakup, I can work on things. If you want space and want to stay at your place a few days then I understand, but you have to come back home. Please come back home to me." I could hear the hurt in his voice which only made me cry even more.

"I have a book deal." I muttered, my head still hanging low so I couldn't see his reaction. "Ronnie wants to publish me, but I have to go to New York for everything to happen." I stood up and turned to him. "New York?" He said with a sad laugh. "America?" I softly nodded my head. "What does that mean for us?" "I think we both know." I sadly laughed as well, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "No. We don't have to end here, we can make this work. You won't be there but for a couple months, it won't be that bad." He argued, finding any excuse so we could stay together and try and fix things between us, but there wasn't anything left to fix. "Aren't you tired of the fighting? Can we stop this and give our hearts a rest."

"I don't want to do life without you now that I know what life is like with you." "I'm miserable, Roger." I said as I grabbed the last of my things and zipped the luggage up. "You can't expect me to live the rest of my life like this." He reached for my hands to stop me from zipping the bag all the way. "And you won't. I made a mistake and it will never happen again." "You said that the first time and then did it again. And then you missed the biggest night of my life. I can't go the rest of my life living in constant anxiety wondering what you're doing or who you're with. I can't remember the last time I had a decent meal from the stress I feel when you're gone." I pushed his hand away and finished zipping the bag.