Bound to you

Leaving

Memphis Ryan

It was quiet when Roger left. He had to catch his flight back to America early that morning and left me with warm lips and coffee breath. I could still smell his cologne on his pillow and I pulled it tighter to my chest trying to pretend he was still there. I had my first shift at the bookstore today and I was more eager than I'd like to admit, but I was curious as to how Jane and Roger knew each other and since he wasn't offering any answers last night I knew I'd have to get them on my own.

Roger had truly been something out of a dream last night. I had heard horror stories from Freddie about how neither of them could cook when they lived together, but things have clearly changed. That or Roger only knew how to make pancakes and bacon, which wouldn't surprise me either. He even put on an Elvis record and we danced in his living room. I'd caught Roger trying to dance with John during soundchecks and it was more amusing than anything, but he could slow dance surprisingly.

Making me stand on his feet cause I had two left ones and had the least knowledge of dancing. He'd been so full of surprises this weekend and I couldn't put how I felt into words. I was in love with him. The slow budding feelings I'd had since I met him that night at the bar had finally bloomed. But I couldn't tell him, not now at least. I grabbed a notebook on the way out so I could finally start writing some of my book because I finally had something to write about.

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Jane was a short and sweet older woman, she wore her glasses low on her nose and gray curly hair that just seemed untamable at times. We hadn't had much time to talk when I first came in, but now I was with her for at least 5 hours and that would give us more than enough time to get to know each other. The store had been relatively quiet the last few hours, a few people dropping in here and there but finding what they needed with Jane's help and going on their way.

I had been all over the store putting books back in their place that people decided they didn't want anymore and discarded them where they pleased. Jane said it would allow me to get familiar with the store, but I honestly hadn't paid much attention to where everything was. I had been scribbling things down in my notepad every time I stopped to put a book back. I had so many thoughts and feelings in my mind now and they were all about Roger.

It feels like the universe closes in around us when you touch me. But the moment is so fleeting and you are gone again. Then it is just me with too much space. The universe is awfully large and I am awfully small and I wish you were here to close the space.

I looked at what I had written before putting a Pride and Prejudice book back, smiling to myself. I knew Roger would read these one day, he'd probably be the only one to ever read them actually, but the thought of him reading my raw unfiltered emotions made my stomach do flips and for once not in a bad way. I pushed the cart of books down to the end of the isle and found a secluded corner with a small amount of records they sold here.

 There was a massive set up for the Queen record on display though and I discarded the cart of  misplaced books and walked over to it, picking up one of the albums. I ran my fingers down the edge of it before flipping it over and reading the track list. "I'm awfully proud of him." Jane startled me, making my jump in my place and turn around fast to her amused smile. "His mum wouldn't let him take a drum set to school with him, but all he needed was a pair of bongos to get in that band. Look at them now." 

"How long have you known Roger?" I put the record back in it's place and turned to look at her again, a feeling of hope in me that I would finally get answers and not be avoided. She gave me a confused looked before walking over beside me and looking at the display up close. I stood over her with furrowed brows and a fast beating heart waiting for her response, it was eating me alive that she wouldn't answer either.