36. The One In Shambles

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❝The future for me is already a thing of the past -You were my first love and you will be my last

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❝The future for me is already a thing of the past -
You were my first love and you will be my last.❞

― Bob Dylan

💔BRENDA💔

Flashback

My mother, feeble from surviving her first heart-attack, was still in the hospital when I went home today. I didn't want to go to class. I'd missed too much, leading to my decline in focus. Dad said I couldn't skip any more days.

"Mija," he had said, patting the back of my head. "You have to care about school work. Your mother will be fine. She was a lot better today."

"I want to see her."

"You will. I'll take you when you get home. I promise."

That was a lie.

After reaching the house, I was left in shambles when I saw the empty driveway. He wasn't here when he should be, keeping his promise to me. On the kitchen counter, I saw a note from my father telling me that he would be at the hospital and would be able to take me tomorrow. Not today though.

Scott came over because I needed someone to vent to, desperately wanting to let out the pain I felt in my father's lie. "She could be getting worse. Who knows if she'll make it?"

"Brenda, your dad wouldn't hide something like that from you."

"I don't like this, Scott. I don't like this feeling." I began to puff. "I feel nauseous."

"Breathe, Brenda. Breathe and relax. Everything will be okay. You're overthinking it. She's perfectly ok. You've got to breathe, out through your mouth and in through your nose," he advised, rubbing small circles on my back. 

A wave of calmness washed through my body, responding well to his touch. I needed him now, more than ever. He was the only stable, reliable lifeline of hope in my world, keeping me afloat in a world that wanted to drag me down to the deepest part of the ocean. 

Or at least that was how it felt. I appreciated how he had come over without hesitation. He was always great like that - constantly there for me when I wanted his support. 

From the corner of my eye, I let my sight wander to the shaking phone on the glass table. I read his girlfriend's name across the top, seeing messages pile up on his locked screen.

Regardless of having a girlfriend, the image on his phone wasn't of his darling new love. It was us.

The photo was taken over two years ago. His mother and I stood on one side and Scott, holding the phone, snapped the shot of us three at Disney World. Between Scott and I was the Cinderella castle, glistening in the distance. For his little brother's birthday, his parents paid for his friends to take a group vacation to "the happiest place on earth" and because I was like family, they paid for my ticket, too. Since that trip, he hadn't changed the photo.

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