Dear Catherine,
Hey! I'm Alan! (You already knew that. Whatever)
Your teacher must not have explained this program to you, then. Since Tino went to your school when he was younger, he signed up our band as one of the correspondences. We only get a letter if it's addressed to our PO box, so yeah, I don't think One Direction would get the letters that the fans write to them. They're too hipster.
I'm 23 and I can't believe you picked me to be that 'one person you admire'. Huh. Crazy to think that I'm admirable, but I am quite handsome, I must say.
All of the others are jealous because I got a letter and they didn't. Austin's still bumming around but the others are taking it well.
I really love cats, which is why I attached a picture of my cats to you. They're the cutest little hairballs you'll ever meet. They're fuzzy and lovable. You'd better say you like cats, because if not, I might cry.
I'm so happy we helped you move forward in your life. It's incredible to think that just four years ago, I was a 19 year old kid just like you playing guitar wishing to be in a band, and BOOM. Here I am. I'm glad you've stuck around, kid. You actually made my day when I saw this letter addressed to me!
Of Mice & Men has saved my life too (in one way or another). Austin convinced me to be in this stupid band and put away the pills that I couldn't seem to put down, and now I'm addiction free-happy as can be.
This letter is SO incredibly special to me, you have no idea. I've decided to keep a place in my room to put your letters - if you decided to send more. I hope you do!
I wrote all of this in pencil! So you never may know what I erased and didn't erase. Ha.
In your next letter, you should start to tell me about your hobbies and shit that you like to do. Is it okay if I swear in this? I have a potty mouth and I'm a horrible example. Never put me around little kids or they'll be rattling off the F-Bomb.
Tell me your nicknames! Is it okay if I call you Cat?
Your middle name is Zooey! I fucking love Zooey Dechanel! She's so hot. Austin's still got his boy-crush on Natalie Portman.
I have also attached a polaroid of me and Phil. He's holding Mittens (one of my kitties) and he wouldn't let Mittens go! I had to basically wrestle him to let go. Maybe you should send one of you too, because I have this vision in my head of what you look like, and so far, I picture Hermione Granger when she drank the polyjuice potion with the cat hair in it. Because your name is Catherine…and I associate Catherine with Cat. And Hermione was a cat…okay? Okay.
Hope all is well, and I look forward to talking to you soon!
-AAA
