Emotions // Billie Eilish - (on hold)

Chapter Forty

I helped lily into the bed in the room we were sharing and tucked the sheets over her.

"Get some rest. I'll be down the corridor if you need anything. Anything at all you just call me.. ok?"

I made sure my instructions where clear.

"I will. Even if it's just to tell you I love you." She whispered.

"Good, now sleep." I said as I let go of her hand and headed out the door and back to fins hotel room.

"She needs to see a doctor Billie.. she shouldn't be reacting like this.." Finneas said looking up at me from the piano.

"I know but she won't go. Give it one more day then I'll talk to her.." he didn't reply he just shook his head at me.

"Let's get this song finished. Maybe I can play it at the last show."

Within an hour we had done it. With my mind being back to how it should be now me and lily had talked I was able to knock out a good song.

We sang it a couple times and decided we where happy.

-

I walked back into my hotel room to get ready for the show. It had been two hours and lily was still curled up asleep on her side.

"Hey." I said sitting down and brushing the hair out her face.

She didn't reply she groaned as she snuggled back into the duvet.

"I'm back. How do you feel?"

"Tired." I barely made out the word as she mumbled it so quietly.

"I think you should wake up now, your gonna mess up your sleep routine(?) she shook her head.

If she doesn't want to get up I'll have to wake her up.

I climbed onto the bed on my hands and knees and lent over her I slowly connected our lips and as she kissed back I deepened the kiss. Before long she had her hands tangled in my hair.

"Good morning." I laughed.

"..morning.." she said definitely more awake.

"how do you feel?" I said tapping my head to her head to see if she had a temperature.

"I'm fine." The way she said the words made me believe otherwise, they where mechanical.

"No your not." I said as I placed my hand on her thigh.

She hesitated but answered.

"I just I don't know I feel like I'm relapsing. My mental health sucks the nightmares are nearly every night, I hate my body and myself and now I've done this drug shit. I'm just... I feel like a waste of space."

"Babygirl.. you've had a hard time you just need to heal."

"I tried to heal billie! It failed." She yelled.

"I think you should see a therapist.. just give it a chance maybe it'll help?"

"It won't. But if it'll make you happier I will."

-

I stood in the hotel room getting dressed for my show and brushing out my hair. As lily laid in bed pinching her non existent fat.

I turned to face her but I didn't speak. I decided it was best to leave her alone.

"What are you going to wear?" I asked, trying to distract her.

"A bin bag, maybe I'll suffocate."

I knew lily was sad but this was very unlike her.

"Please stop. You know I don't want you to die. I love you so much.." I starred into her eyes but she didn't look at me.

"Ok." Was all she replied.

I continued to get ready and eventually convinced lily to put on actual human clothes. She picked leather jeans and a black baggy jumper.

I was wearing white shirt with green sweat pants.

We walked hand in hand down the hallway to look for fin. Once we found him we headed off to the show venue.

A/N
Short Filler chapter sorry but it makes sense to split it here! There's more coming in just a few minutes :) I've just worked a 11 hour shift at work so there's probably a lot of mistakes but I'm too tired to proof check sorry!