My Grade 10 (S.Y. 2018-2019)

13

January 23, 2019

Today is my first entry of the year. It's been long, I know. I haven't been that good after the things happened. Mostly, because of him.

A little recap about what happened last December, we messaged each other. Yes, it might not be believable but it is surely true. For as long as I remember, we messaged each other on December 23, 2018.

That conversation I started is about the film that we need to make because it was our project. I remember telling him to come at 30 so that we can start the video shooting. I even joked that it was a date and not a film but I said it was for the film already. Until...

"Hey, let's just voice call. " Aaron messaged. I was about to reply when there's a continuation. "I'm getting lazy typing. "

So on, I called him and he answered it but that was only for 18 minutes because I told him I need to eat dinner that time even though the time was already 8. I came back but he was offline, I tried calling him but it didn't reached him. It was always leave a voice mail.

Later on, he came back with some messages, asking me if I still wanted to call.

"Why? Are you going to sleep already? " I asked.
"Ye. " His instant response.
"Let's do it next time then, I'll only stay you up. " I replied.
"It's fine, I thought you wanted to. " He replied to me.
"Yeah, I know. I want to call but you're going to sleep. What can I do?" I replied, trying to be more understanding because really, I don't really want to stay him up that time. If he wanted to sleep, then sleep.

Then he called, I rejected it.
"Accidentally called? " I messaged.
"If you didn't answer... " He messaged back.
Then he called again, but luckily missed it.
"Fine."
"Okay. "
"You're like that to me. "
I keep getting messages like these from him after I missed his call two times.
"You didn't want to have a date with me then you have a right to be like that to me?! HAHAHA. " I messaged.
"Hey, first of all, I didn't say I didn't want to. I said it would be awkward if it'd only the two of us. That's why I wanted to have a double date so that it won't be awkward at all. " He replied explaining.
"Double date your face. I only get this rare chance to have a solo moment with you but you're the one who wants to be with anyone." I said.
"Wants to be with anyone? What do you mean? Zzz" He replied back.
"Go to sleep already. " I said.
"Wow. After you didn't answer my call. " He messaged.
"I really don't know whether you're upset or just something. " I said but he didn't understand me.
"And why would I call? To disturb you? Even if you're going to sleep. " I messaged.
"Because you wanted to? " He said.
"Go sleep already, your eyes will get tired. " I just replied back.
"Okay, fine. Goodnight. " He simply replied back.
"I don't want you to sleep yet! Stay here for a while with me. This is only a rare chance. " I said.
"But earlier you said you want me to sleep already. That's so you. You always say what you wanted when it's too late. " He said.
"Why? Did I said that I'll do it?" I asked.
"Okay. " His response.
"But stay here for a while hmm? Or maybe it's too late?" I asked.
"Okay. " His response.
"What? Too late? Okay." I teased.
"Yes I know that I'm not enough for you because you still like Jayson." He replied back.
"Jk" He sent this immediately. Just kidding hmm?
"Yes I know that you were not serious the time you confessed to me, that's why it faded quickly. Am I a fool to believe it so easily?" I replied back as a revenge though.
"Hey.. That was true at that time . I'm not a fvckboy, you know that. Let's call already!" He replied continuously.
"Can I cry for you again?" I asked.
"Let's call." His last message after that.

He called me but I really let that go as a missed call.
He called again but now, I accidentally answered it.
I was already crying at that time so the moment I heard his voice through the phone, more tears came down. He was saying words in the other line as I tried hard to suppress my cry noises so that it can't be heard.

"I'm fine." Two words that was full of lies.
"You're really crying.."
"I told you don't cry for me."
"It's such a waste of your tears."
"Please stop."

The more that he was comforting me, I think tears became more heavier than I thought it would be. I wanted him to stop but it soothes my feeling. What can I do?
"I miss you" Three words, that's full of sincerity.
"Thank you, bye" Last thing that I heard myself that really appreciated someone's effort.

Then I ended the call.

He sent messages though.
"I told you, don't cry.."
"You're telling me to sleep now that you're crying?"
"I shouldn't have called you, knowing that you'll cry again.."

Thank you for understanding...

"That's all. I love you! I just cried because I missed you that much." A reply that was full of sincerity but pretending to be fine.

That was the end of my flashback. Let's go back why I wrote this chapter.
It's because I heard from my friends that Aaron was failing almost all of the subjects in class and if he won't go to school, he'll definitely not be able to graduate from junior high school.

"Ma'am Glenn, what did tita said?" She already knew what I am talking about.
"She said that he'll go today but he didn't." Ma'am Glenn said.
"Okay ma'am, thank you." I left then I asked Prince and Arjay to accompany me to go at his house, Aaron. Bianca joined too.

Later on, we found out that he was home. So we called him out to explain his situation in school, about not being able to graduate if he continues not going to school and not taking it seriously.

"Hey. Go to school tomorrow okay?" I said.
"I will." He replied.
"It's okay to be late, just come to school." Arjay said.
"You're not even being active in Messenger." Bianca explained as Aaron just chuckled.
"And go take the exams you haven't take, be a little bit serious in this fourth quarter. Make sure to go to school from Monday to Friday without being absent." He just nodded at what I said.
We stayed there for a while as I really wanted to go home already.
"Aaron, walk Bianca home okay? Same with you, Arjay." I said as the two nodded.
"Prince, let's go." Aaron said. So he really forgotten about me hmm?

"Krisha doesn't have someone on her way back." Arjay said to Aaron. I know Aaron reacted a bit but I was walking away already. I heard Arjay telling Prince to go after me and walk me home. I noticed Prince as we walked home together.

"Love him?" He asked. I just remained silent. All of a sudden, I just tried to be a little bit funny to awaken the atmosphere between us but before we were close to the open area wherein cars and more people will see us.
"Ghad. There's tears!" I exclaimed.
"Why are you crying?" I ignored his question as I stopped walking then wipe my tears.
"I don't want to look like this. It'll look like you made me cry for the people who'll see us." I explained.
"Still love him huh?" I just nodded then completely recovered. I resume back from walking.

Prince and I continued walking until we were about to part ways.
"Thank you for walking me home." I thanked him.
"No problem. See ya" He said as we waved at each other the slowly parted our ways.

"I just really wanted to hug him earlier.."

"Why didn't you hug him?"

"Because the coward me came again.."

"Just hug him."

"If you really love the person, it's harder than you think it would be.."

"I guess you can say that... every person has its own way on how they'll reach out their feelings for their loved ones.."

"But some people just can't figure it how..."