ETHMA Forever

18

"Really?"

"I just feel like they're good at hiding their emotions and they just couldn't. Something really bad must have happened, James."

"And they're taking a break from social media." He nodded.

"James, I just wanna be there for him, but he just pushed me away! I wanted to see him again. I wanna make him happy!" I was shaking a little. James hugged me and we fell asleep to a movie. He was the best-est friend anyone can ask for.

∞∞∞

ETHAN POV:

I had no choice. I couldn't tell her what was going on. I needed some time to think about how to tell everyone. I couldn't seem to process it myself. I would just lay in bed and cry until I couldn't, and I was just in such a state of shock. Grayson and my family helped me through it, but they're also affected. I can't even imagine what my mother's going through.

Yesterday,  my father, Sean Dolan, passed away due to cancer. I couldn't even get myself to write something for him on Instagram and Twitter. I decided I would do it when I felt ready. Of course, planning it with Grayson. The service was happening in 2 days and I knew it was gonna be rough for all of us.

I knew it would take time to heal, and I 100% agreed with James and Emma, and I'm happy they're here to support us, but I need some time alone to think.

The reason we were in New Jersey so often was so that we would see our dad before today and to spend time with him.  I miss him so fucking much! I miss his smile, the way he would smile at Gray and I just made me smile and feel like we were loved. And he made sure we knew that. The way he raised us was amazing, and I couldn't believe that he was so supportive of our decision of going to YouTube and leaving school even though he was a principal at school and a coach. He was so supportive of everything we did, and I don't even think we would be where we are right now if he wasn't there to help us keep going. 

I got up out of bed and I noticed everyone was still here. I looked at what was happening from the kitchen. Emma was crying, James was yelling, Grayson was trying to comfort them  while making them leave. I wish I could just hug Emma and kiss her. Ugh! I would give anything for her to be in my arms. I just knew I couldn't talk about it without breaking down and I couldn't cry in front of her. I knew I had to look strong for Emma. I just looked at the ground. Who the fuck even cared that I was wearing Gucci sandals? I threw them across the room and I just sat on the ground and cried.

I stood up when Grayson came back in. We just nodded at each other.

"When do we post about it?" My voice was so fucking raspy.

"Tomorrow at the same time." He told me. I nodded.

He left to his room and I just had a beer as I watched football.

I fell asleep at some point on the couch because I didn't remember the score of the game when I woke up.

JAMES POV:

I was so scared for Emma. I've never seen her cry and I knew how important Ethan was to her.

Em was still at my house and I was scrolling through social media as she was editing her video. Around 1 pm, both of us get a notification. Both the Dolan twins posted something. We looked at each other and quickly swiped to find awful news.

Ethan:

Grayson:

We both had tears in our eyes by the time we looked up. I wanted to go up to them and hug them until they couldn't cry anymore. I wanted to relieve them of their pain.

"What the fuck?" Emma was crying.

"Shhhhh." I soothingly said. I rubbed her back and we hugged for five minutes. I kissed her forehead. She looked like a lost puppy and I wanted to be the one to comfort her.

"We can't see them now, okay? We need to just give them space." I brushed the stray hairs out of her face and wiped her tears.

"This is so fucking unfair!" She whined.

"I know, kitty girl."

We commented on the photos to show our support and I noticed Emma's comment. "I love you". I knew what it would do to Ethan. Smart move.

Right now we couldn't do anything. Time will heal them. Time will tell.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞