Orbital Velocity

Day 43: Drawing On a Deep Well

While taking a break between games of racquetball this morning, my friend Dave and I chatted about my effort to get fit again. I mentioned how much better I'm feeling, even though I'm just getting started. I don't feel so lethargic. I need less sleep. My mind is sharper. It makes me feel foolish to have let myself slip into a rut for so long. I can look back at my life and see entire years where I was just getting by, instead of living as my best self. When I mentioned that I already feel like I have so much more willpower and mental clarity, Dave observed that this is a deep well I can draw on -- a metaphor that really struck home for me.

Life can be seen as a series of a million decisions. On a very mundane level, these can make or break your day. A simple example: every day, either my wife or I has to collect and clean out the trays we use to feed our cats. Long story, but we use timed feeders, and if the plastic trays aren't cleaned our cats are prone to chin acne. (We also put little terracotta dishes inside the trays, and that made a huge difference.) When I'm in a mental rut, I'll walk past a feeder and tell myself that's a chore that can be addressed later -- sometimes four or five times in a single day. Each time I do this, I "take the easy way out", and can rationalize that I'm allowing myself to move on to something else instead. In fact, however, I'm adding a tiny amount of stress to my life. I've postponed a chore that will have to be done later, I'm likely to feel a little disappointed in myself for having done so, and I might even be exposing my wife to the same source of stress. When I've been exercising, however, I find myself far more likely to make the right decision: tackle the chore now, as part of the flow. Get it done and move on.

Stress accumulates. Tiny decisions like this add up, and can leave you feeling behind. A backlog of unfinished chores becomes a constant weight on your shoulders. When you have a free moment, and could theoretically set about chipping away at your work queue, that weight makes you more likely to seek escape instead. The bigger the weight, I've found, the greater my desire for escape -- until I eventually reach a breaking point and rage through the mess I've created.

When that stress isn't accumulating, a free moment becomes a joy. Instead of wanting to get away from the mess I've created, I find I'm more likely to do something good for myself. I might take time to journal, read, listen to music, reflect on what's next -- maybe even resume a project I've had on a back-burner, or undertake something new.

One of my favorite books, "The Willpower Instinct", by Kelly McGonigal, discusses this phenomenon in much greater depth. When we reduce stress in our lives -- to the extent this is possible -- we free up mental resources that allow our prefrontal cortex to operate more effectively. This, to me, is the deep well. In pursuing cardiovascular fitness, I'm giving myself the mental clarity I need to make better choices, which in turn gives me more willpower to avoid escapism, spend more energy on doing things that are good for me, and continue getting more fit.

In her book, McGonigal refers to the American Psychological Association's list of the most effective stress-relief strategies. Looking back at my notes, I'm struck by how many of these are part of my Orbital Velocity project. Here's the list, with my own notes.

- Exercising or playing sports - This is at the core of what I'm doing, and the payoff is almost immediately tangible
- Praying or attending a religious service - Not my thing, but it works for a lot of people
- Reading - Now that I have more energy and find myself needing a little less sleep, I'm much more likely to do a bit of reading at bedtime, or to read when I have a free moment
- Listening to music - This has always been a major part of my life, so nothing new here
- Spending time with friends or family - Racquetball has the additional benefit of getting me to spend time with two dear friends more often, and in a way I otherwise wouldn't -- plus, it sometimes leads to quality hanging-out time afterwards
- Getting a massage - Wow, I should do this -- I love massages, and it's been a long time
- Going outside for a walk - I wrote about this early on, and I've been pretty good about keeping at it (although snow and cold make it a little harder to self-motivate)
- Meditating or doing yoga - The amount of time I do yoga each week has gone way up, and I always feel better for doing it
- Spending time with a creative hobby - The writing part of this project is an obvious example of this, but my desire to improve my conversion ratio also inspired me to submit a short story for publication (a dreadful chore) -- in addition to sending my novella off to a developmental editor

If I eventually fall back out of orbital velocity (I would be delusional if I didn't acknowledge that this is likely to happen sooner or later), I hope I remember to come back to this list and remind myself how much cardiovascular fitness can help unlock a greater sense of overall well-being.

P.S. I also biked over 1.5 miles in each direction, to and from racquetball -- while it's 12 degrees Fahrenheit and the roads are still a mess from snow over the past few days. My sense of achievement and pride in commitment are through the roof right now. :)