The Pureblood Princess | Sirius Black

|88| Marlene McKinnon: Serial Snogger

On Saturday morning, Marlene McKinnon sauntered up to the great hall feeling more confident than usual in her ensemble, tapping her foot, waiting for the hoard of mischief makers to come bustling in.

After some semi-amusing banter with the little mischievous troupe, she watched them walk toward the entrance, carefully waiting for them to make it a little ways before she pounced.

"Wait! Potter, can I talk to you for a second?" Marlene asked.

James shrugged and followed her to a nearby hallway. "What's up Marls?" he asked curiously, pushing up his glasses.

"I need you to be my pretend boyfriend." she said casually, as if commenting on the weather.

James blinked a few times in surprise, but he was honestly taking it better than Marlene expected (he'd always had a flare for the dramatic). "I-I uh... Look, Marls... you're great! And I um... like being your friend... but uh I really fancy Lily..." he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

Marlene nearly gagged at the thought of him actually thinking she fancied him. "Ew! No, Potter! I need you to be my PRETEND boyfriend. Fake. Not real."

"Ohhh!" James said in relief, before becoming even more befuddled than before. "I'm sorry, what?"

Marlene groaned in frustration. "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend." she said slowly, over-enunciating every syllable as if he was a total idiot.

"Yeah, I got that." James said, bristling at her tone. "Why?!"

Marlene sighed. "I want to— to prove Amos wrong..." she said, seeming much more vulnerable than James was used to seeing her. "He said that I couldn't be in a real relationship with anyone..."

"So you plan to prove him wrong by getting into a fake relationship?" James asked, raising an eyebrow and seeming much more paternal than she was used to.

"Look, it's not just him, okay!? It's a lot of people. Everyone thinks that I'm some serial snogger and I'm just so sick of it!"

James frowned. He'd heard the rumors going around about her and did his best to keep people's mouths shut (they were friends after all), but he had no idea that it bothered her so much. She was usually above all the petty drama— calm, cool, collected with the worlds thickest skin... But now... he was beginning to wonder if it was all an act. Still, act or not, this was a preposterous plan, even by his standards. "You know, this is really immature... I would expect more from you Marls."

"Would you please quit doing that?" she snapped.

"Doing what?"

"Trying to sound like a disappointed parent or something, it's freaking me out..." she said, eyeing him in confusion.

"I'm not trying to sound like anything." he huffed in annoyance. "Why do you even need me to do this? Surely there are plenty of other guys who would be willing to actually date you—"

"—I'm sure there are, but the last person I wanted to actually date ended up being a total prick, sooo... It just seemed like a better idea to pick someone I definitely didn't fancy and who certainly didn't fancy me." she reasoned.

"Why me though?! Seriously? Of all the people, why'd you have to pick me?"

Marlene rolled her eyes, as if she thought that his question was posed for no other reason than to annoy her. "Well, first of all you're probably one of the most popular blokes in school—"

"I'm popular?" James asked with an impish grin, ego ballooning to the size of a small house.

"Yes." Marlene said shortly. "Anyways, I needed someone popular and who people also thought was hot to get Amos's attention and really piss him off... It was between you and that Evan guy Addy always hangs around, but he's a Slytherin... and I wouldn't be caught dead snogging one of those snakes—"