if only | ha yoonbin

4

Dain's POV

The new year started, just the thought of it made my heart race. You know that feeling? when you're excited but yet anxious.

I grabbed my bag and head to school.

I used my phone to act as if I have friends when I was just refreshing Instagram over and over again.

When I got to school, I sat the back of the class since i'm always one of those that would reach two to three minutes before the bell ring.

Language class would always get me anxious, especially when I get to see if I would be in the top class for language again.

You guys know why I wanna be there.

Wink.

I went to my assigned classroom and there's not many people in there yet. I took a seat at the back since I didn't want to be anywhere near the front.

I laid my head on the desk, you know, first day of school is always the worst.

" Class, stand up now. " I stood up groggily, not wanting to actually be in school. We greeted the teacher and sat back down again.

Guess who's our teacher? It's Miss Park again.

We were asked to pass our workbook around so that everyone's workbook would be collected. I heard a slight paper flipping sound but I simply ignored it.

Gradually, it became slightly louder. I turned around to see him laying his head on his arm while trying to grab my attention by waving the paper up and down.

I looked at him with a face full of confusion and he passed to me the stack of workbooks. I murmured thank you before taking it over.

We have another stack of books coming so before he was about to wave the paper again, I turned over with a slight smile and took it over.

He seem rather shocked at how fast I was but oh well, I was just preparing to not embarrass myself once again.

It hits me that he was sitting just diagonally beside me. I started to tense up again, I was never proud of my side profile so sitting at the place that could see my unglamorous side was not a good thing.

Language class ended and all of us went back to our classes again. When there's someone passing by my class, I would always look up to see if it's him.

It became a habit of mine gradually.

For one of the lesson, he have to move to my class while I have to move to the other class. I saw a figure walking past me before he sat in front of me.

I looked at the back of his head in confusion before I grabbed my things, leaving the class.

I'm pretty clumsy so I would often forget to bring some things over to my class. The number of times i've entered their class to grab my things is just insane.

This time, I went back with a friend of mine. I was at my desk, grabbing my things, " Oh my god, why does he have so many acne? "

[ my friend didn't actually say about acne, she said about something else lmao ]

" Oh, he does? I didn't realise. " I said, wanting to actually hint to him that I didn't realise so he shouldn't feel too bad about it.

It sucks because gradually more and more people started pointing out that flaws about him.

A few days passed and it's our after school club carnival where we are supposed to use the chance to grab as many people as we can into our club.

To me, it was one of my favourite event in school.

I was often a more introverted person but when that event comes, I became the most sociable person. I would approach people as if they're my friends but they'll probably glare at me before walking off.

I'm sorry man, I was trying to be nice.

I didn't really dare to approach the basketball court but Hana dragged me there since her crush was in basketball too.

" You should join Choir! You sing so well, just like Beyoncé man! Queen Bee! " I said when I saw one of Hana's friend walking past us.

He chuckled slightly, " I can't betray basketball club, so no thanks. " Hana chuckled and he walked off.

I was trying to catch a glimpse of Yoonbin but to no avail. I can't seem to find him within the crowd.

" Join Choir, Join Choir. " I said unemotionally as I passed the pamphlet to them lazily.

Suddenly, someone waved his hand to me. I looked at him in confusion, " You can't hand it out like that, let me teach you. " He took the pamphlet from me.

He passed it to his friends, " You should join Choir! You're an amazing singer! " I stared at him in awkward silence while he looked back at me with a proud smile.

" Maybe you should help me give it out then. " I said with a grin and he shrugged.

" Maybe if you would give me a dollar for every pamphlet I give out then yeah sure. " I shook my head and he chuckled slightly.

I smiled, " Well, i'm leaving. Bye. " I waved to him before I left and he waved back.

I walked over to the area where there's more students, in hope that one of them would join. Sadly, no one seem to be willing to join us.

We gathered in the choir room before we're dismissed. I dragged Hana to the side and she was watching the guys play basketball while I was using my phone, looking uninterested.

When it reached 6pm, " Let's go, it's getting late. " She nodded and we walked out of the school gate.

" I was like- " I heard a familiar voice and my heart started beating even harder than before.

" Yeah, it was the two of them that told me to join their club and quit basketball. " I turned over to face them and I shrugged.

I realised he stopped talking the moment we walked together. When we got to the traffic light, I felt really awkward so I made some excuse.

" I got to go now. Bye! " I was about to leave when that same guy stopped me. He raised his hand, wanting to give me a high five.

" Bye! " He said, waiting for me to react but I just simply walked off. They started bursting into laughter, saying that he got rejected, everyone but him.

It was that day, I told myself.

I really like him more than I think I do.

12th Jan 2019

If you have any questions about something that you're confused about, feel free to ask me :)