Crossing the Mirage - Passing Through Youth

Chapter 11 - Crossing the Mirage

"Maybe," he said, "but widowers and divorcees could be less fussy about virgin brides."

"But how am I to explain my unusual preference to my parents?" she said, "Well, even if someone marries me still, he might put me under probation till I'm fifty, if not longer. Also, my confession to all and sundry might scandalize me by word of mouth. Oh it's no less risky."

"Well," he said, "it's a possibility.

Oh, am I destined to remain unwed all my life," she said with a sigh, "for just a misstep in youth? How cruel has life become for me!"

"I see a way out my friend," he said as he readied to bare his heart.

"Me marrying a eunuch!" she said with a weary smile in spite of her situation as her sense of humour ensured it.

"Well, the next best," he said and laughed in half jest.

"Jokes apart...," she began eagerly.

"I'm not joking."

"Oh, come on."

"Why not marry me?"

"But why should you" she said a little taken aback, "after all that?"

"I've my own reasons," he said seeing hope, "love being the foremost."

"I think it's absurd."

"Is it because you don't fancy my looks?" he said and looked disappointed.

"Oh, no!" she said taking his hand, "what my looks have brought me but misery!"

"If you can turn blind to my looks," he said nevertheless, "you would find me charming in every way."

"You're only compounding my confusion."

"Don't think that I'm taking advantage of your situation," he said in an outpour. "I love you with all my heart and soul. I don't want to stress upon that because it may not mean much to you now, and for all that you could've lost faith in love itself."

"That's my tragedy."

"Don't worry," he said confidently, "I'll make you believe in love all again."

"You infuse hope," she said vacantly, "and puzzle me too. Is it not pity at work?"

"On the contrary," he said spiritedly, "I love your spiritedness. I've loved you at first sight and now I'm beginning to admire you. I shall feel lucky if you agree."

"Looks like I've lost my capacity to think," she said thoughtfully. "Now help me put the thorn away and then give me time to think it over."

"Why not," he said mysteriously, "I've the rose with the thorn as well?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," he said with apparent conviction. "I would take you with the child."

"Oh, but why?"

"Life is a combination of circumstances as Tolstoy put it," he said as she stared at him in wonderment. "Why not we face the facts, if not for the unwanted child in your womb, you wouldn't have had a second look at me, and but for your handicap, I couldn't have dared of proposing to you."

"Maybe, but unfortunately, looks do matter in choosing mates." she said apologetically. "But then, as the saying goes, handsome is as handsome does. I suppose you're well-read."

"I did savor a few drops of the ocean of ideas, that is, the novel," he said. "And if only you hear my tale, you would know why I want your child in tow."

"Of course, I'm curious."

The story of his life, that he narrated to the last detail, filled every recess of her heart inducing empathy for him.

"What a soul I've met!" she said empathically, taking his hand. "Oh, you've chosen to forego your right to father out of consideration for the unborn! Won't that show your innate capacity for loving?"

"Well," he said his eyes welling with tears, "I haven't seen it that way.

That's the beauty of your soul," she said touchingly. "I take it as my fortune to become your wife and mother your child. I promise you to give you many lovely children, as many as you want. Go in for the corrective as I get aborted?"

"Oh, how I allowed myself to be mired in the mirage of ugliness," he said excitedly, pressing her hand. "Know you've led me to the oasis of beauty."

"In a way, it is the case with me too," she said holding his hand as though not to lose it ever. "But for you, I would've chased the mirage of disaffection all my life. In helping me cross it, you've enabled me to trace the treasure of my life in you."

"Aren't we blessed really?" he said and kissed her hand while she felt she had a newborn purpose in her life.

"Oh, what a fortune!" she said in ecstasy.

"It's my word that you would forever feel loved by me."

"It's my promise," she said in all gratitude. "I shall love you soon enough and value you all my life."

"I cherish you, Nithya," he caressed her hand as one would a find.

"I'm proud of you," she said, kissing his hand.

"Now perhaps," he said, "it's my turn to ask you whether sentiment has overwhelmed your judgment."

"You may check up at the morrow," she said joyously. "I too have read a little of Shakespeare."

"A blue stocking of a wife then!" he said with a smile. "And I haven't bargained for one."

"When you're destined to get one," she said, turning mirthful, "what can be done?"

"Let's wait till the morrow."

"No way," she said naughtily, "if you want to get rid of me."

By the time they had to part for the day, they turned so close that he insisted he would drop her at her place.

"Goodbye till tomorrow," she dismissed him as they reached that street corner.

"At three then," he waved her goodbye.

"Won't I make it on the dot," she waved back at him.

As he stood rooted with a heavy heart, she reached home in relief. Overwhelmed with joy, that night, they both waited for the fresh dawn with hope.