Fly Away - G-Eazy

11. Come crashing in

Gerald's POV

I entered the black van that's supposed to get me to my gig. I check my phone wondering if I should text Kayrah once again, making sure she didn't forget about it. I'm so fucking clingy. Hell no I am not going to do this. My hands drifted over the hem of my leather jacket. I pulled out my headphones to listen to some music because it was a little drive...
They were totally tangled which pissed me off already. I quickly untangled them and plugged them into my ears.
Music started to play and before I could listen to my whole playlist the car suddenly came to a halt and someone knocked against my window. It was Grady. I gave him a heads up so he opened the door and the camera flashes started to hit me like crazy. Like fucking fireworks. I gave them a smile here and there until I reached the door. A big security guy opened it for me and followed me into my dressing room.

The first thing I did when arriving in the room was checking my phone again.

,,Sorry, won't make it. Got caught up in some work stuff..."

Are you fucking kidding me, Kayrah?
She can't be serious.

Grady entered the room without knocking which pissed me off. Everything pissed me off.

,,Can't you fucking knock?", I murmured.
,,Woah there. What's wrong dude?", he asked surprised.
I didn't know he heard what I said.
,,Nevermind. You got my stuff?"
,,Yeah yeah they're setting everything up. The mic.... and here are your in-ears.", he said.
He handed over my black in-ears and I instantly threw them on the desk.
,,Not that. I'm talking about my fucking stuff!"
,,Yo bro, you gotta chill. What has gotten into you? Enjoy the evening... I'll get you some whiskey alright?"
,,No asshole. I want my fucking coke right now. I paid hella money for that. Don't get on my nerves right now."

Kayrah's POV

It was already half past 10 and Gerald hasn't answered me yet. Was he disappointed?
No what am I talking about. He's not thinking about me right now. He's probably enjoying his gig. I really wanted to go but Tessa's sister and her husband went out tonight and asked her to watch her kids but she's been throwing up all day and asked me to jump in. I didn't want to tell Gerald because I knew he wouldn't believe me. It sounds like a bad excuse. But what I texted sounds like an excuse as well... Why am I lying? Maybe it is an excuse.

I stood up from the leather sofa and started walking around the living room. I tried to make the least of noise so the kids wouldn't wake up. I walked over to a big drawer with loads of pictures in frames on top of it. Tessa's sister and her husband. The kids. Them all together on vacation in Greece. They look so happy together. Is this the definition of a happy ending? Like when it's not the end but you feel like you can die happily now? Thoughts started to swirl around my head. I am wondering if I'll ever have that feeling in my life. That feeling of fulfillment. I shake my head. I could never be satisfied. Or calm. You always have to be ready. Ready for what's coming next. Every time when I felt something like happiness in my life something else came crashing in. 

At around 1 am the two love birds arrived... I was watching TV when I heard the door open. They were giggling and kissing each other. They looked like they were living in the moment. Living. Love. 

,,Oh my god, hi!'', Shannon - Tessa's sister - whispered. She seemed tipsy which I found very cute.

Both of them gave me a quick hug.

,,Thank you so much Kayrah. We are very happy that we could finally go out for dinner without having to worry about the kids for a couple of hours. I hope they didn't make too much trouble!'', Tobias - her husband -  said.

,,Oh no. Don't worry. We had a lot of fun. They were behaving really well. You did an amazing job at parenting. Beautiful children.'', I said. And I actually really meant what I said. They were the sweetest.

Driving back home I felt somewhat of satisfaction. I did a good job at babysitting. Maybe I'll be a good mother someday...

-

The elevator came to a halt and I rumbled through my handbag to find the keys to my apartment. When I found them and looked up I couldn't trust my eyes. It was Gerald sitting in front of my door with a bottle of whiskey in his hands. Clearly on something. Clearly not amused.

,,Um hey...'', I said uncomfortably, ,,what are you doing here?''

,,Um hey?'', he asked sarcastically, ,,so this is what work looks like nowadays. Must be some crazy boss when they let you work until 1:30 in the fucking morning.''

I didn't know what to say.

,,Can we please go inside? It's really late and I don't want to wake up my neighbors.''

,,Yeah, that would be absolutely horrific, wouldn't it?'', he slurred while following me inside.

He leaned against my kitchen counter waiting for me to speak. 

That actually made me a little angry. I felt like I had to explain myself even though I really don't fucking need to. Neither is he my boyfriend, nor did I do something wrong.

,,I'm asking you again. What are you doing here?'', I stood in front of him holding my distance.

,,And I'm asking you, why you fucking lied to me?!', he got a little louder.

,,I did not lie to you, Gerald. I had to jump in to babysit Tessa's niece and nephew.''

,,Who is he, huh?'', he slurred moving closer to me.

I took a step back. 

,,What the fuck are you talking about?''

,,Kayrah, stop fucking lying!'', he grabbed both of my wrists.

,,Let me go!'', I said with a demanding tone in my voice. He didn't let go.

,,Girls don't go behind my back, only I do that type of shit.''

,,What the actual fuck? Do you listen to yourself speaking sometimes? You sound pathetic. Now let. me. go.''

He tightened the grip on my wrists. 

,,This hurts. Let me go.'', I tried to pull but his grip was too strong. He pulled me closer to him and I smelled his breath of alcohol.

,,You are disgusting.''

,,What did you just say?'', he asked. His eyes were so black and it actually scared me. 

,,It's really funny how you're acting. I'm not your fucking possession.'', I said. ,,You don't own me. I am not lying. I was babysitting. I really wanted to come but I thought you might think I'd lie when I told you the truth so I said I had to work. I really wanted to see you perform but sometimes stuff like that happens. Look at yourself. You're totally wasted and harassing me.''

He let me go and I stepped back in an instant. I started rubbing my wrists. They really hurt.

,,I'm sorry. I was so dissapointed that you didn't come so I shortened the gig and knocked on your door at 00:30 but you weren't there. I thought you were with another guy and...''

,,And what? You thought you could wait for me to fucking physically hurt me and scaring me in my own apartment? You think that's okay? I don't care on what drugs you are or what you drank. This is not okay. Even if I would have been with another guy - which I fucking wasn't - that's my personal decision. You are not my boyfriend.''

He looked ashamed.

,,Look I'm really sorry..'', he stepped closer to me trying to touch my arm but I pushed him away.

,,Please, get out of here.'', I said calm but demanding. I couldn't look into his eyes.

He turned around, grabbed his bottle and left without saying any last words.

-

Like I've said. Every time I feel something like happiness something else comes crashing in. I'm tired.

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I haven't published a new chapter in like 6 months lol. Still, people are reading this. This makes me really happy. Honestly. I'd be happy for some feedback for this chapter. I don't really know. I love writing on this and I'll try to update quicker. Love you guys! Leave a comment <3