The Beating of Your Heart

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"YOU'RE A COWARD."

She says it so casually. I look down at her, but she just keeps walking, not even bothering to look at me, as if it was the most typical thing to say to someone.

"Excuse me?"

"You're a coward," she repeats. "Is that so hard to understand?"

We're walking around, making very sure not to pass in Thénardier's part of town, or Café Musain's for that matter.

"I'd like to know why."

She sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Enjolras, you've been planning this rebellion thing for months and you just threw it all away."

"I did not!" I exclaim, suddenly insulted. "Wait. How do you know that?"

"I know things."

"Anyways, it wasn't my choice. They're the ones who pushed me out."

"But did you even try to stay?"

"I-" The words get stuck in my throat. I shake my head. "I guess not..."

"Then you're a coward."

I exhale loudly.

"Can you stop saying that?"

"I will when it won't be true anymore."

"Fine, then maybe I am."

Eponine smirks.

"Sorry," she tells me. "I'm not good with small talk."

"I hadn't noticed," I sighed.

"Oh. I didn't know Mr Perfect had sarcasm in him."

"Well, I-" The words get cut short in my throat realizing what she had just said. "You think I'm perfect?"

Eponine stops dead in her tracks. She suddenly starts to play with the loose piece of fabric hanging from her neck.

"I didn't say that," she mumbles.

"Doesn't matter," I say. "Perfect's overrated anyways."

I sit down on a bench, waiting for her to join me, but she doesn't.

"What are we doing, Enjolras?"

"We're just talking."

"Then why do I have this knot in my stomach?"

I look at her now, with the sun shining down on her, and notice for the first time how beautiful she is. Sure her hair is messed up, she's dirty and all, but without that frown that occupies her face most of the time, she is actually stunning.

"Want to know a secret?" I say. She hunches her shoulders. "I have a knot too."

Her stare suddenly lifts up from the ground.

"You, Monsieur?"

"I can't explain it, okay? You just... You do something to me and everytime I'm with you, I can't stop looking at you."

"Stop messing with me."

For the first time, Eponine Thénardier looks... fragile. Vulnerable. And I can't help but think that I kind of feel special. Not many people must have seen her in that state. It's like an honor.

She suddenly shakes her head and the frown is back on her face, full force. And that instant of vulnerability is gone in a flash, as if it had never been there. I wonder how many times she must have made it disappear so quickly.

"I have to go," Eponine lets out. "I don't know what you were thinking."

She turns around and starts walking down the street, fast.

"Hey, wait!" I call out, jumping to my feet.

I run towards her and grab her left arm.

"Eponine," I say.

"Let go of me, you coward!" she shouts.

I pull her arm, making her turn around to face me. Her eyes are gleaming.

"I'm a coward?" I say, a little bit too harshly. "Me? How about you look at yourself, huh? I've accepted the fact that I like you. I. Like. You. There, it's out in the open. But you haven't. You're the coward, here. You're the one who won't accept it."

"Let go of me," she lets out, almost in a whisper.

I let go of her arm and she lets it fall down gently by the side of her body.

"I'm not a coward," she breathes out, clenching her fists.

"No, you're not," I reply. "But you're scared."

"This isn't me, okay? I'm tough. I'm independant. I-"

"Maybe it's the you you're becoming. People don't stay teenagers forever, Eponine."

She shakes her head and starts to walk away.

"Eponine."

I catch up to her and, without thinking, grab her by the waist and pull her close. And that's when I kiss her. Just like that. Her body tenses, but she doesn't push me away.

It weird to say, but she tastes good. Like dirt, and blood, and sweat, and salt. It's hard to explain, but my heart just keeps beating faster after every second that passes.

She finally pushes me away, looks at me straight in the eyes, and then turns around and darts down the street.

"Eponine!" I call after her.

But it's too late. She has already turned the corner. She's already gone.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid..." I mumble to myself.

We're back to that.