Life Without War (Divergent)

Chapter 11

[A/N- Again, sorry I took so long to update. Been super busy and having writers block didn't help. Read the authors note before this if you wanna know what's been going on. I wrote a longer chapter to try and make up for no updates in that long. But I know it doesn't fix it. Sorry for not updating. Time got away from me during these 2 weeks of school and even the weekends. Homework is crazy and my life is just crazy. I have lots of things going on in my mind and I'm confused. I feel like I may have things wrong with me so I'm feeling really emotional. That's what may happen in my story. The writing reflects my mood so sorry if its a bit depressing.]


*Tris' POV*

That night, I dreamt of the Choosing Ceremony.

I remembered sitting next to my brother and seeing all the factions together. It was one of the only times during the year that we would all see each other. It felt weird being around that didn't dress the same or act the same as me. 

The Abnegation were sitting quietly awaiting the speeches to begin. 

The Amity were politely talking in small groups.

The Candor were debating about something as always. 

The Dauntless were yelling and calling for each other. 

And finally the Erudite were reading or some were even talking quietly about something. 

We were all so different yet we all still functioned together. It blew my mind that we hadn't gotten in a war yet. We all wanted different things and respected different abilities or traits. I never would have thought that a government like this could stay intact for this long. 

I heard my name being called and slowly got up. Walking to the bowls in the center of the room, I was trying to decide what my final decision was going to be. I wanted to go to Dauntless and live the life I thought was perfect. But I felt bad for leaving my parents here in Abnegation. They would be alone and I wasn't sure if I could do that to them. 

I reached the bowls and still hadn't made up my mind. Cutting my hand, I still hadn't chosen. I stuck my hand out and let the blood drop. 

"Dauntless"

I sighed in relief as I walked over to where they were sitting. 

The final name was called and everyone around me got up. They started running towards the stairs and ran down them as fast as I thought they could. My mind finally got into focus and I started to bolt after them. I had seen the Dauntless kids run into the school building and everything but I had never gotten the chance to experience it myself. 

Everyone came to a stop in front of the train and waited impatiently. When it got near, they began to run and started jumping into the empty cars. I followed their example and barely made it as a hand pulled me in. 


I woke up with a smile on my face. I had finally remembered everything up to going to Dauntless. This meant that I could go back. Finally I would see Tobias again. 

During the 2 months I was here, I had gotten some memories from when I was in Dauntless back along with the ones leading up to then. 

Mainly, I had learned more about my relationship with Tobias. From dates to just hanging in his apartment, I found out I enjoyed his company anywhere- no matter what. I guess the life I had there in Dauntless really was perfect. And I got to go back soon. I really couldn't wait now. 

My parents had told the leaders that I was ready to go back to Dauntless. They told me Tobias would be here tomorrow at 1pm to pick me up. 

I didn't bring much with me so there was no reason for me to pack. I decided to take the pin my mother gave to me on my 8th birthday. I probably should have thought about the other things I would be bringing with me but I was exhausted. I had all day tomorrow to get a bag together so it would be fine. 

I was sitting on a rock somewhere. On one side of me was rushing water. The other side had more rocks and a pathway. I really wanted to get up and follow the path but I had a feeling I shouldn't. There were no other people around me but I could hear voices above me. They were talking about something really serious. 

It sounded like the voices were getting closer and closer. I tried to get up and hide but I couldn't. One head poked over the side and I took a deep breath. 

Christina.

I sighed and watched as she came down the pathway to the rock I was sitting on. All of a sudden, the other voice I had heard came running after her. It was Will. He caught up to her and they both joined me on the rock. We all sat in silence with our feet hanging over the edge. 

Then we all heard heavy footsteps coming from above. Christina pulled my arm and followed Will into the shadows. We crouched there for a long time waiting for the footsteps to go away. 

It was nearly midnight and we weren't supposed  to be out of our apartments after 11. Whoever this was may be trouble If they saw us, we could get in serious trouble. Especially if it was someone important. I hoped it would just be Al or Tobias. 

Nearly 20 minutes later, we heard the footsteps go the opposite way and start to get quieter. We took this as our call to move out of the shadows of the rocks. I was the first to move but stopped when I saw a person standing right above us. 

I stared straight into their bright green eyes I had always admire and almost fell backwards. Their intense stare was starting to scare me the longer I stood there. I almost cowered back into the shadows but then they would know Christina and Will were there. I looked away for a split second to see Christina. She looked terrified and was trying to stop Will from going to grab me. 

I looked back up to see him and saw nobody standing there. 

Was it really him standing there? Or was I just seeing things? I had to have been imagining things. There was no way he could have been here. It's not allowed. Even if he was, why would he be here? And how did he find me?


I woke up in the morning with a groan. I heard my alarm clock going off telling me that it was 6:30am. That dream had left so many questions in my head. I wanted to know yet I knew I never would. It was probably just a dream anyway so none of that was real. Right?

I put my head in my hands and wiped my face. I really didn't need to add this into my mind. I was already thinking about so much and trying to remember everything. There was enough thoughts spreading through my mind to kill a person. And I had a feeling  it was gonna kill me. 

I finally got the energy to get up out of bed around 7 o'clock. I stood up, took a quick shower, got dressed, brushed my hair, and brushed my teeth. Then I headed downstairs to eat a quick breakfast. 

It was really awkward as I sat down with my parents to eat. They tried asking me questions about how I felt but I wouldn't tell them. I had a feeling they were hurt that I wasn't sharing part of myself with them. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let anybody into my mind. It was too confusing even for me to handle. 

We all got up and my parents told me they would take care of the dishes. I thanked them and walked back upstairs to my bedroom. All I brought from Dauntless was the clothes I had worn here. I put those on so that I could blend in when we got to the compound. The people around here don't care what I wear as long as i'm leaving. 

I got a small bag and put the pin and some Abnegation clothes in it. I wanted to have the pin to remember my parents and the clothes to remember my old life. The time that I spent here made me realize how much I really missed this. In Dauntless life is amazing. I have everything I could ever wish for. But I still had something here. I had all my childhood memories. But they weren't the same without my brother here. And he was never coming back. 

I started to wonder whether he even knew I was back here. I had a feeling nobody found it important enough to tell him. Even if they did, I wasn't quite sure he would care all that much. But I still had hope that he did care about me, somewhere in his heart. 

I heard somebody clear their throat to my right. I looked over and saw Tobias leaning against the door frame. I smiled and ran over to him. After giving him to biggest hug and kissing him, I pulled him into my room. 

"So this is where little Beatrice lived, hm?" He asked as he looked around the room. 

I nodded and sat on the bed. He followed my lead and sat next to me. He grabbed my hand and I smiled up at him. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed. It felt great to have him back. I hadn't seen him or spoken to him in 2 months. I really missed him over that time and I never wanted to be separated again. 

"You ready to go?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. 

I nodded and got up off the bed. We walked out of my bedroom door for the last time hand-in-hand. 
I looked back and swallowed the lump in my throat. I would really miss that place. Finally, I turned around for the last time and shut the door behind me. Tobias gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and we walked down the stairs. 

My parents were fussing around making sure I was all ready to go when we got downstairs. Tobias gave me a weird look and started laughing quietly. 

I glared at him as my mom walked around me making sure my outfit and hair looked okay. She was also studying me. I had never worn my hair down or in a ponytail around her. Also, I had never worn black, jeans, or anything tight in front of her either. 

My father seemed to be staring at me as if he didn't know me. It almost seemed like he was ignoring me. I wasn't his little Abnegation daughter anymore. I remembered his face as I walked with all the other Dauntless out of the building on Choosing Day. 

The look he had on his face right now was almost the same. He seemed almost angry at me. I acted like it didn't bother me and I didn't notice him staring at me. But I was really heartbroken inside. I loved my father so much and I never wanted to hurt him or disappoint him. And I felt like I was doing both right now. 

I put that to the back of my mind and focused on my mother again. She looked so upset to see me leaving again. 

"The train leaves soon Beatrice. You better go." My mother told me. I nodded and walked over to hug her. Then I crossed the room to hug my father. 

They both said goodbye to Tobias and we headed for the door. 

"I love you both so much. Thank you." I said to them as we walked out the door. My mother smiled at me and closed the door. 

I stood on the doorstep for a while staring at my front door. Well, I guess my parent's front door. This would most likely be the last time I saw this place. 

Tobias put his arm around my waist and we walked toward the gates. 

When we finally reached the train, I got on and sat in front of the door. 

I watched as the Abnegation compound faded into the distance.

And I felt a tear roll down my cheek.