Life Without War (Divergent)

Chapter 8

( A/N- So I am trying to update bunches right now because I am super busy. I have youth group Wednesday night, Thursday i have to hang with my cousins, Friday i am going shopping with my friends and hanging for most of the day. Saturday I have a thing in the morning and then I am going camping until the 4th. And I also have a YouTube channel that i post on every Monday. I also need some questions for a video so ask me some in the comments or inbox them to me and you may make the video. Go subscribe if you want)

*Tris' POV*

"What?" Tobias yelled. "Tris, you have to know who I am. I'm Tobias. Please." 

He sounded so hopeless. I felt like I knew him from somewhere but I didn't know where. 

"Sorry? Should I know you?" I asked. I was really confused. Was there a reason i needed to know him?

"Tris, please. I love you." He said. When he looked straight in my eyes I felt something familiar. 

"Sorry. I just don't remember you..." I heard him sigh and then he put his head in his hands. I felt really bad for upsetting him. I just wanted to hug him and make him feel better but I didn't know how to. I didn't want to lie to him and say that I remembered when i didn't. 

"Let me explain, Tris. I would love to tell you exactly what has happened in your life before the accident but I can't. When somebody has lost their memory, it is best to let them figure things out on their own. You will be allowed to ask questions to anyone but it may be somethign they can't answer." The doctor told me. 

"Wait, but when is my memory gonna be back?" 

"If you're lucky, it could take a few days. Other wise, it could take up to a few years to get all of your memory back." 

I sat there in silence for a few minutes. A few years? 

The doctor explained what would happen to me in the mean time. He said that I would need to go back to the place i remembered last ,which was Abnegation, until I get my memory up until I left there. Then I would be able to come back to Dauntless and keep living here. But I wouldn't be allowed to come to the compound until I remembered everything from before and took a test to show I actually knew. 
 
He left the room after telling me they had sent a compound representative to Abnegation to tell them i wouold be coming to live there and giving me a note that said:

I, Robert Himsy, give Beatrice Prior permission to enter the Abnegation compound and stay as long as needed on Doctor's orders. 

I thanked him for all the work he did and then followed Tobias out of the room. He told me we were going to my apartment to get everything I owned and start packing my things to move. Then he was gonna take me on the train to Abnegation. I usually traveled by foot so I was terrified to be going on the train. He wasn't technically allowed inside the gates but he said he would come with me anyway. 

I got closer to where i had supposedly lived for only a few days and i still didn't recognize anything around me. I knew he kept looking over at me and wanting to see a look of recognition on my face. i felt really bad for not remembering anything and I wanted to apologize to him for it but decided against it. I though it may be awkward for him because I was apologizing for what seemed like nothing to him.

We reached my apartment and both went inside. Tobias started grabbing the boxes I had set by my front door for recycling and putting everything i owned but my clothes in them. I started with my clothes that he had left and folded them neatly before putting them in the box. I saw him giving me weird looks when I sat there folding things. I guess I wouldn't usually take the time to be neat. I couldn't imagine what a mess I would have made doing this. 

He seemed to be watching me and figuring out how different I was before. I never thought I would change from my Abnegation lifestyle but obviously I was wrong. When I looked at myself now, I almost didn't recognize myself. I now had a tattoo of birds on my collar bone and 'Young, Wild and Free' on the small of my back. My hair was still the same but I had it down instead of in a bun. My clothes were all black, very tight and showed quite a lot of skin. I was used to wearing gray and loose clothes that covered my entire body. 

"You ready?" Tobias asked as he stood up. He had just finished putting the last item of my room in a box. I looked at the work i had done and looked back to him. I had only put half of my clothes in boxes. 

"Not quite... but thank you for your help with everything." I said to him. "You can go if you need to be somewhere. I can finish up with what I'm doing here." 

He shook his head and chuckled at me. 

"It's so strange seeing this side of you, Tris. I can wait here. There's not much to do today without you." 

He sat down on the bed and looked at me. I could feel myself start blushing and quickly turned away. I continued folding my clothes neatly and putting them in my box. 

I finished 20 minutes later and stood up. Tobias had laid down and shot up into a sitting position when i had moved to stand up. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to disrupt you." I rushed to his side to make sure he was okay. 

I felt different. I knew I was putting on my normal role like I did when I lived in Abnegation. I knew I had never been cut out for life there. So why was I letting them take me back? I didn't belong there. I belonged somewhere else. I remembered watching the Dauntless kids jumping off the train to get to school. I remember always admiring their bravery and courage. I had always wanted to be one of them and now I was. 

Tobias disrupted my thoughts by moving to take the boxes he had packed. I was left to carry 2 boxes of clothing that weren't very heavy. The school books I had even were heavier than that so I was used to it. We walked out of the room and through some cave-like room. It was quite bright because of the glass ceiling. There was another room up there and I couldnt help but be curious what it was.

We headed for a tunnel over to the right and went through it. I couldn't tell when it was gonna end because you couldnt see the end of it and it seemed to go on forever. When we reached the end, I started to feel better. I has started to feel confined in there and though I would never make it out. 

The Dauntless compound was nothing like I had imagined it, especially the outside. The outside looked liek any other building in Abnegation. it was nothing big and special but was quite simple, other than the glass building on top. I thought it would be darker and more dangerous looking. There scariest thing here was some bridge over a rushing river. I though there would be more heights and dangerous activity going on...

We walked out into the sunlight and I saw the train tracks. I had never actually been on the train, i had only seen it go by outside the gates to Abnegation. The leaders had planned for the train to come to a full stop so i could get on. 

"You know, usually it doesn't stop. We always jump on..." Tobias explained. 

I looked at him like he was crazy. It's like he was expecting me to believe I had jumped on it before. We put all the boxes on it and then got on. I instinctively asked him if he wanted to go before me and he looked like he had seen a ghost. I figured I usually didn't have manners around him.

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

I watched as the train pulled up to the Abnegation compound and we started to get off. I look to the fence and saw my parents standing there. I smiled and rushed over to them. I put down the boxes and hugged them both. 

Tobias tried to give the boxes he was holding to my parents but they couldn't hold them. They asked if he would accompany them to my house and invited him to stay for the night. He tried t decline but my parents insisted and he finally gave in. 

Everybody around me was looking at me weird as i walked through the compound to my house. It was probably because I looked Dauntless and had Tobias walking beside me. And it wasn't often you saw people moving into Abnegation... most people left as soon as they could. 

We reached my house and I immediately recognized it. I saw Susan waiting outside her house next door but i didn't see Robert. I walked over to her. 

"Hi, Susan. Where's Robert?"

She looked at me and her eyes started to tear up. She explained that on Choosing Day he transferred to Amity. It was easy to see that she was trying not to burst out crying as she told me. I told her I was sorry and said goodbye. 

My parents brought Tobias up to my room to put down the boxes and help me unpack. I was supposed to show him where everything was, get him settled in my brother's room and make sure he had everything he needed. But every time I tried to get him something, he told me could do it himself. I just smiled and told him 'okay' every time. 

My parents came and told us that it was dinner time after I put away my last bit of clothes. They also informed us that there was a guest over and to be civilized. 

We walked into the dining room and I saw Marcus Eaton sitting at the table. My father looked like he wanted to leave but was trying to control himself. I knew he really didn't like Marcus. They worked together in the counsel. I felt bad that my father had to go through this dinner with somebody he didn't like. Usually the only conversation at the table was about my dad's work and that consisted of talking about Marcus. 

Tobias and i sat down at the end of the table. I wasn't allowed to talk unless my parents addressed me. But they told me that since I was now over age, I was allowed to engage in the conversation and so was Tobias. 

"Nice to see you again, Tobias." Marcus said as dinner was served.