(Anorexia/Body Dysmorphic Disorder)
You stood in front of the mirror in just your underwear. Your eyes trailed your body, only noticing all the fat. But in reality, all you were was a walking skeleton. You were diagnosed with anorexia about a year ago, before you had met Louis. Once the two of you hit it off, you seemed to get a bit better and for a while you had completely forgotten about it. It was when Louis left for tour, everything came flooding back in. The fans began leaving hateful tweets telling you that no amount of starvation could make you thin. Even your own family told you that you could afford to lose some weight. So once he was gone, you sunk back into your old habits.
You barely ate a meal a day and only drank water. You would go to the gym three times a day sometimes, or some days you would just go for hours. Soon enough, you started to lose weight again. You found yourself unable to stay awake for long or not being able to sleep at all. You would walk past the bakery, temptation at its highest, but you wouldn’t give in.
So now here you were. Louis had arrived home yesterday and he could see something was wrong but he didn’t confront you. Right now, the mirror was your worst enemy.
“I knew something was different about you,” a voice spoke up from behind you. You looked into his blue eyes through the mirror, afraid of making eye contact with him. He looked sad, angry, hurt…
“Louis, I…” You trailed off, not able to find the right words. He walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your bony hips.
“I want you to tell me what you see…” he said softly. “Just tell me what you see in the mirror.”
“I-I see fat… I see a hopeless person who can’t control what she does anymore. I see flaws all over the place. My skin isn’t nice, my thighs are gross, my eyes don’t sparkle… My stomach is too big, my hair isn’t nice…” You could’ve continued but Louis had started to cry. You couldn’t bare seeing him cry because of you.
“You feel that way about yourself…” he said, less of a question and more of a statement. You turned your body so that it was now facing him.
“I can’t help it Lou… Even my own family tells me that I’m not good enough.”
“(Y/N), listen to me okay? You’re aren’t fat, you were never fat. You look so fragile and I’m scared that if I hold you too tight, you’ll fall apart. (Y/N)… I love everything about you and regardless of what you say, I’ll always love you. This,” he gestured to your frail body. “Isn’t okay. You’re sick. But I’m here to help you get better. You’ll never have to go through anything alone, okay? Will you try for me?” Hesitantly you nodded your head. “Good, because I want you to realize that you don’t need to be stick thin to be beautiful.”
You leaned into his chest, closing your eyes. “I love you so much Lou.”
“I love you with all my heart (Y/N), we’re going to get you better.”
