What More Can I Say? | A Musical High School AU

Chapter 6: Connor (McKinley)

(A/N I mean what I've been saying in here, the two Connors are gonna make this really confusing. Idk what else to say, just make sure to check the chapter names/POVs I guess? Oh well.)

(Also, Trigger Warning: Mentions of homophobia)

Connor's POV:

"Naba!" Cordelia squealed, jumping up from her seat to drag the other girl over. Connor, Zoe, Cordelia, and Arnold were all crammed into a booth at Joe's Diner, their typical hangout. They would go there for the food, which was delicious, and just talk.

"Hey!" Naba smiled, sliding into the booth, right next to Connor, who was casually sipping his cookies and cream milkshake. "Zoe!" She said before stealing some of Cordelia's fries, "Where is your girlfriend? I haven't seen her much recently."

Naba got straight to the point. Sure, she could have her head in the clouds sometimes, but when it really mattered to her, she wasn't afraid to say things. Connor liked that about her. Unless she was using it against him, like the time she relentlessly interrogated him about where he hid his secret stash of Halloween candy. But at the moment it was Zoe being questioned, and she was happy to answer. 

"Well, she's been busy lately. You know how she gets, always wanting to finish projects the moment she gets them. I honestly wish I could do that sometimes, instead of procrastinating. And as much as she hates to admit it, she likes hanging out with my brother and his friends. Or maybe she feels the obligation to sit with them to make sure that Jared doesn't destroy something."

"Ah. But you two still hang out, right?" Naba replied.

"Of course! I like to think that I make her happy, so that she doesn't feel like she has to work all the time. And if anything was going on, I'd probably tell you guys. But besides all of the new projects and stuff, she's fine."

"Good. And Cordelia, how's it going with Charlotte?"

Cordelia blushed. Everyone knew about her crush on Charlotte. She could talk about the girl for days and not get tired of it. "We're partners for this chemistry project!" she announced gleefully, an infectious smile spreading across her face. "She's very smart, y'know. Smart, beautiful... She told me that she wants to be a doctor, isn't that great?"

Everyone nodded before turning back to their food. "What did you guys think of Kevin?" Zoe asked suddenly.

Connor almost choked on his milkshake. He had almost forgotten about Kevin. Almost. He wanted to forget him. Connor wanted to forget his perfect hair and perfect clothes and perfect smile. But he didn't. 

He couldn't forget him. Because in addition to being attractive, Kevin was Mormon. This wouldn't have mattered much, except Connor was Mormon too... Well, sort of. 

Connor was gay. And the Mormons' thoughts on homosexuality meant that Connor had spent his entire life trying to repress his feelings. After he realized that he had a crush on his best friend, Steve Blade, in fifth grade, he went looking for advice. He was just told to, "turn it off," but no matter how hard he tried, it never seemed to work. And the hell dreams... They just got worse and worse. And when Connor got into high school, his new friends made him start to wonder whether he had anything to be afraid of. If he deserved to spend all of his time hiding that he was gay.

And he began to accept himself. He didn't come out to anyone yet, but he had decided that being gay wasn't a bad thing. His friends were good people, and if they could be great people and not straight, couldn't he? After months of accepting himself, Connor began to come out to his friends. He had only come out to a few people, the ones who he trusted the most, and they took it pretty well. He was beginning to feel more confident about it, and about himself in general. But one night, at dinner, he accidentally outed himself to his parents and the rest of his family. While his mother tried to deny it, to say he was wrong, his father kicked him out. 

Connor broke down, calling the first person he could think of, his friend Chris Thomas. Chris was a short, blond guy who happened to really love poptarts. In fact, most people just called him Poptarts, since he loved them so much. They had been friends as long as Connor could remember, and he managed to explain what had happened through the tears. He stayed at Chris's house for awhile after that. As close as they were before, the pair became even closer. Eventually, Connor moved in with his Uncle Emmett. 

He had kind of given up on being Mormon after that. It wasn't like they would accept him if he was openly gay. He still loosely followed the religion, but for the most part he tried to forget about everything. He would always remember it, but he could at least try to get it out of his mind. He only told his closest friends about it, and the only one who got the story in full detail was Chris. 

So when Kevin arrived, Connor wasn't sure what to make of him. He was dressed fairly nicely, and that paired with his perfect hair made Connor wonder whether Kevin could possibly be gay too. Apparently not. Instead, he just had to be Mormon. And hanging out with Connor and his friends.

Connor decided that if he had to hang around a cute, Mormon guy all the time, any chance of forgetting his worries was slim.

"I like him!" Arnold exclaimed, snapping Connor back into reality "Which is good, because he's stuck with me now! We have all the same classes since I'm showing him around."

"He seemed kinda weird to me," Zoe began, "Like, when he got all defensive at lunch because Connor was looking at him."

Connor went red. Of course Zoe had to bring him into this. As he tried to shrink back in his seat, Naba asked, "Connor, what did you think of this guy?"

"Uh... He's Mormon."

"Oh!" Naba gasped, eyes lighting up with recognition. "Well, not all Mormons are that bad, right? Like you! Or Poptarts!"

"I know, but did you see his hair? Or his clothes? He was wearing an old uniform! He's a Mormon through and through! I can tell! It probably hasn't even occurred to him that any of us could be gay!"

"We don't know that for sure..." Cordelia replied, positive as always.

Connor sighed. "I guess..."

He didn't mean it.

(A/N HEY! SO it's been a hot minute since I last posted. Rip in peace. But here's a new chapter! Lemme know whatcha think! Stay swaggy!)