Recklessly Bound

Chapter Eighteen

With Mary and John on their vacation, or once upon a time ours, I feel more alone. My daily life has turned into a cycle of going to work and shooting for eight hours straight, coming back home, sometimes, inviting Angelic over for a drink, other times, spending my night in solitary. Friday night, before leaving LA to Paris for shooting, my parents invite me over for dinner. I have to make up an excuse for Ethan, whom I haven't seen for a long time. Three weeks have passed since our argument and he hasn't shown up at the house. Sometimes I kick myself for telling him not to return. As much as I want to ignore it, I miss him.

I arrive at my parents' house, I receive a very homecoming reception. In my mother's hug, I suddenly feel the urge to cry. It has been a month since my marriage to Ethan and I find myself unable to go any further.

"So, tell me how's your shooting going? I think Ethan is spending a lot of time on his projects and work. He should spend more time with you." Mom says as she fills her plate. I reach for my wine glass without saying anything.

Across me, Jesse observes me silently. Her lips are pressed into a thin line.

"It's prime time of the shooting. With the new expansion of Kingstone's company, Ethan has a lot to do. I'm sure it all goes back to normal once summer ends," Dad says.

The dinner ends and we all help cleaning the tables. Like old times, Jesse and I excuse ourselves to have a walk in the back yard. Once outside, by the pool, Jesse halts. I turn to look at her.

"I'm smarter than you think. I see things most people in this dirty business don't see. They're too stupid to face the fact, even if they do," she says. I take a deep breath and turn back to stand next to her, facing the pool.

A reflection of the moon on the water is dancing. Jesse and I rarely have a serious talk like this. Usually, we talk about boys, high school, and life. But I've never indulged her in the ugly truth about product industries. Or what went down between Ethan and me.

"I know that you and Ethan are not on the best terms." I held in my breath. "It's not hard to see that he doesn't appear excited to have you on his arm. Every time mom asks about him, you end saying the same things. My friend saw him the other day having lunch with some other business associates. That's also the same day you told mom that he's out of the country."

"Jesse..."

"I hate him." She turns to me, "I know he's hurting you, and I know that look in your eyes. It's the same one you had when you were in high school. You look tired and depressed. It's because of him, isn't it?"

"Jesse, I don't think you should be talking about this."

"Why not? Are you trying to cover his ass for hurting you? Evelyn, you're not happy, obviously. You rarely laugh. Why are you torturing yourself? Get a divorce!"

"Jesse, that's enough." I look back at the house, hoping no one heard her. "Don't you think that I would want a way out of this. He rarely comes home, and he has..." I stop. She doesn't know why Ethan is ignoring me. It's better not to tell her. She already knows more than she should know. "Please don't say anything about this to Mom and Dad. It's only a temporary misunderstanding. We'll figure it out on our own. Don't worry about me." I grab her hands. "Promise me you won't say anything about this to anyone. I can't get a divorce because the media will tear us apart if we separate a month later after our marriage. These things require time and patience. I'll figure it out. But don't say anything."

I'm sure Jesse is grown up enough to know how the media will chew and spit us out if they hear about this. I trust her. But the only thing I'm worried is that her involuntary reaction will give our secret away.