Meaningful Mistakes

Chapter Thirty One

I don't want to sit in the front knowing he is behind me and has every opportunity steal glances from there. I'd rather hide behind him and be on my own.

I close the door and buckle my seatbelt, leaning my head against the window. I let shoulders slump forward.

Once again, I am the problem. The storm that forces everyone to go indoors. William Henderson has been the only one to step outside with his umbrella until I calmed to a clear sky.

He is doing that again- sacrificing time from his life to help me. My best friend should be in class now, studying for a future while I let mine go up in flames.

"You sure as hell have a lot of explaining to do." Each word oozes venom. William glances at Hunter while he drives. "You're lucky I haven't thrown your ass out of his window yet. I mean seriously, I don't even know why I'm not slamming your head into the fucking dashboard."

"William, stop." I beg, wanting to rid his brewing anger. If he keeps arguing with Hunter, he is going to cause an accident- I can't have another one so soon.

He huffs out a breath. "You're only lucky that she's in the car, Kings. Otherwise I well and truely would've slipped you under the wheel of the car and crushed your body like a grape."

When I turn my head, I catch a glimpse of Hunter through the revision mirror. He already was looking at me.

We seem just as bad as each other. Two teenagers, living through the primal years of our life and experiencing a similar looking pain. But for many different reasons.

I pinch the fabric of my hoodie at the sleeves together and lean back against the window, away from the sight of the mirror.

I can't help but feel worse when William places his elbow on the door and brushes his hair stressfully out of his face. His lips are pressed together tightly after blowing out a breath.

I'd already done this to him, but I can imagine it's much, much worse. Last time I was carried away in an ambulance because I publicly fainted, but this is the first time he is the one taking me away from school.

"I'm sorry." I say to William. "All of this is my fault."

He shakes his head and shoulders grow stiff. "No, Lols. Don't say that. We're going to fix this, okay? I won't let you go through what you went through last year."

I don't respond. His promise is reassuring.
He is going to help me.
No more hospitals, no more judgment.

I hate knowing I need to be 'fixed', as they call it. I'm a problem that everyone else needs to mend to. A broken doll with thick layers of duct tape holding in the stuffing.

When I look out of the window again, William parks the car in the hospital parking lot. I grip the door handle tightly.

But- but he just said that he wasn't going to let me go through what I went through last year. I thought he meant the hospital, yet here we are.

I can't go back.
I can't be stuck there again.

"Come on, Lols." William mutters and climbs out of the car. Hunter follows, but I can't help but stay seated in my spot. I cannot get out of his car.

The handle is ripped from my grasp when Hunter pulls the door open until William shoves him away and holds it open himself.

Panic is gripping every bone in my body and threatens to shatter them. The splinters pierce my lungs.

"Lolita, are you coming?" William is holding his hand out for me to take.

"Do I have a choice in this?" I ask and he shakes his head.