Meaningful Mistakes

Chapter Thirty One

Of all people, I'm upset he found me hiding. He'd witnessed my lightheaded feelings take their grip on me when I fainted in the kitchen. He would believe the rumours.

"I figured that much." I continue picking nervously at my fingers. "I'm guessing everyone knows?"

Ian sighs. "Unfortunately, yes." In the corner of my eye, I watch him unlock his phone and type. "He knows about what happened in the kitchen too. It took me a while, but I connected the dots and went straight to him and Hunter. You fainted in class the same way last year."

Of course he'd remember it. He was there that day sitting in the back of the classroom. I hoped everyone had forgotten. "I assume you just messaged everyone. Does this mean you won't let me make a run for it?"

He doesn't even laugh. "No running. I texted William so he can send the entire basketball and cheerleading teams back to class." Ian tells me and shuts off his phone.

"Two whole teams?" I thought sending his extended friends would have been enough. I can't believe he had both teams looking. This is more humiliating for me.

"He really cares about you, Lolita. I think you need to start caring about yourself now." He smiles softly before he turns around and disappears around the corner, leaving me alone with the words hanging in the air.

I think you need to start caring about yourself now.

I could run, knowing it is possible, but I don't. So for the next few minutes I sit and wait for any shred left inside of me to be ripped away.

I messed up again, and need to fix it.

I swallow nervously when William Henderson, my best friend of thirteen years, runs around the corner and almost slips over in the process. The panic on his face is enough for my stomach to twist.

He isn't alone, Hunter closely follows, but he stays his distance to let William handle the situation. It might've been easier to handle if he weren't here.

As far as the blond boy knows, he thinks things are fine between us and I was simply keeping distance because I'm sick.

In a sense, I was.

They're both still in their training gear, with hair still tousled and a slight layer of sweat on their faces. If Ian hadn't said anything, or if I were alone, maybe this all wouldn't have happened.

William's eyes begin to water, a mix of emotions overwhelming them. Confusion, anger, guilt, sadness. The same I'm experiencing too.

He's witnessed me like this so many times. I feel horrible each time I put him through it. If I could change everything just for him, I would. But it's hard. So difficult I'd rather put myself through hell than fix myself.

"I can't decide if I want to hug, or slap you first." He walks closer, the tears threatening to spill worse than ever. I deserve the slap, even though he is joking about it so I would feel better.

He sees it now. He sees everything I covered with an excuse or lie. The bags beneath my eyes because I'd trade sleep for exercise, the baggy clothes, the pale skin.

I can't hold it my tears back anymore. I've began to crumble. "Can I have the hug first?"

William presses his lips into a tight line when they quiver and his first tear falls. He drops to the stairs beside me and wraps his arms tightly around my body.

I hear his sharp intake of breath which he tried hiding. He's hugged me so many times in my life that he'd know that I'd lost weight again. "I'm sorry." All of this is my fault. I apologise again. "I'm so sorry, Will. I tried, I really did."