(no one else can fix me) Only You - a Pesy Story

Lookin' round a crowded room

I grab a couple bowls from the cupboard, and then put them right back when I see Jesy, pint in hand, on her way back to the couch. She has one spoon in her mouth, and the other already in the pint.

"I mean, you've had my tongue in your mouth at this point," She mumbles around the spoon.

"True," I agree, making my way over to the couch.

We begin to eat our ice cream in relative silence, with only the slight hum of the TV in the background. After 5 or 6 bites, Jesy speaks up.

"This doesn't have to be weird, does it?"

"I suppose not," I answer, though I don't imagine how it could be anything but.

"I mean, I've been friends with all the boyfriends I've had before I dated them. What makes this so different?" She wonders aloud.

"Well," I say, "We're not only the best of friends, but bandmates, co-workers, etc. If this goes south, you'll have to see me and talk about me probably until you die."

"What a lovely outlook," Jesy says, calling me out on my uncharacteristic gloominess. "But, what if we don't try? Do I just look at you everyday and wonder? Do I get jealous when you date someone new?"

"I don't know," I say, my head in my hands.

"We could keep it casual," Jesy suggests, though she doesn't look entirely happy about it.

"I'm no good at casual."

"I'm really not either," She says, looking more relaxed. "What do you wanna do then, babe? It's up to you."

"What do you mean "it's up to me?"' I ask.

"Well," she says, taking a deep breath, "I'd like to give us a go. In whatever way you're comfortable. So, it's up to you."

"I've never dated a girl," I remind her.

"I'd never even kissed a girl until last night," she reminds me.

I think for a moment, but what good is thinking, really? I always regret it after.

"Okay then," I say decidedly. "Let's give it a go."

"Yeah?" Jesy asks, hopeful.

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "But, we take it slow. And we don't tell anyone yet. Not even Leigh and Jade."

"Alright," she agrees, "but that last one's gonna be hard, since we finish the album next week and start promo the week after."

"Shit, you're right. Well, let's just, not tell them unless they ask."

"Jade will ask. And she'll ask you."

"I know," I say. "I just want us to have a chance to figure all of this out before we have to explain it to other people, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that," she says. "So, we'll give it a go. We'll go slow, and we'll only answer questions when directly asked. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Good. Now get over here," she says, opening her arms.

So I do.

We spend the next little while talking about nothing and flipping through channels until Jesy finds some horror movie she insists we watch.

"No!" I whine. "I don't like anything scary!

"C'mon, Pez. I'll protect you. Promise."