His Inspiration (Book 2)

Chapter Twenty - Five

Chapter Twenty Five
Not edited

    "Jack," Kaitlyn called for the third time since they had made it back to the hotel room. She pulled off her shoes, laying them beside the bed as she took a seat on the edge, rubbing her tired face. They had been at the hospital all morning watching Thomas. She was exhausted, all she wanted to do was lay back and go to sleep, but she couldn't do it, not when her husband was still pacing back and forth in the bathroom. "Jack, seriously, stop," she said, "Come and sit down with me for a few minutes, please." She begged. He still continued walking back and forth, not acknowledging her. Kaitlyn sighed heavily, throwing her arms up. "If you don't stop you're going to run a hole in the floor." She replied, exasperated.

Jack stilled momentarily, shifting his eyes up in the bathroom mirror until his green ones caught the reflection of his wife sitting at the end of the bed, a look of worry etched on her beautiful face. He turned the bathroom light off and made his way over to the bed, taking a seat next to her.

He sat there quietly for a while not saying anything. After a while, he lowered his head into his hands, forcing himself to stare at the brown carpet beneath his feet. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "I'm just a little stressed."

Kaitlyn sat there, keeping her hands glued in her lap as she stared ahead at the blank television sitting in front of them. She closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath before releasing it. "I figured that much," She replied, "but would you mind telling me why?" She asked quietly, wringing her hands together in her lap. "You know, when we got married my problems became your problems and your problems became mine. So when you try to keep how you're really feeling from me..it hurts. Like you're afraid that I can't handle your pain. Like maybe you still think that I'm," her words caught in her throat and she felt a tear slip down her face, "You don't have to hide things from me, Jack, especially if you're hurting. I can handle it, and even if I can't, I'll try. We're in this together, remember?"

     Jack pulled his head away from his hands, turning to Kaitlyn. She was still looking ahead, her eyes closed as a few tears slipped down her face. He reached a gentle hand out, wiping away the tear that had settled on her chin. "You know I would never intentionally try and hurt you, Kaitlyn," he said honestly, "I'm not trying to keep things away from you because I think you're still suicidal. We talked about this. I know you're not, honey. I know." He sighed, "It's just that when I see Thomas lying in that hospital like that, I can't help but think of my sister.." he trailed off painfully.

Kaitlyn let herself relax against his hand, her eyes opening slowly. "Your sister that died in the car accident." She stated, not asking. She had known Jack had lost his father and sister in a car accident when he was younger, but he never talked about it if he didn't have to.

      Jack nodded. "Yeah," he replied, "I think about her and how her death was just so unexpected. She didn't deserve it, neither of them did." He ran a hand through his hair, "and then I see Thomas, and I automatically think, what if he doesn't make it? Then what? I want to be positive and say that everything will be alright, but I just don't feel it anymore. I can't go through anymore deaths, Kaitlyn, it'll break me."

Kaitlyn's heart twisted hardly in her chest at the vulnerability in his voice. She wanted to tell him that he wouldn't break. That he would be just fine. That Thomas would make it, but that wasn't what Jack needed to hear now. He didn't need hope shoved down his throat when he couldn't even believe it himself. He needed someone to talk to, someone to share his pain with.

Kaitlyn wrapped her arms around her husband and laid her head against his chest, swallowing back the thickness in her throat as she tried to find the words to say.

     "It's okay, Jack, I'm here." She promised.

- - -
"Most people would've woken up by now." The young woman muttered, her arms crossed over her chest as she sat next to Thomas. Her blonde hair hanging just above her shoulders in a short bob, those striking green eyes focused ahead on the movie like projection playing before them in the white clouds. "Why don't you just go back already," She said, "everyone seems to miss you."

She nodded to the scene playing out in front of them. Dane, Sara, Penelope, and Charles were all situated in the tiny hospital room playing cards. They were all laughing as Dane told a story about Thomas, and the others added in their own stories of things he was notorious for doing.

Everyone looked happy, but from someone looking on the outside in, it was easy to tell that they were all hurting, no matter how much they smiled.

      Thomas turned from the screen, not bothering to look at the woman beside him. "What's the point?" He said to himself, "Maybe this is for the best. It's nice here. Why would I leave now? My friends will be okay, they're strong." He tried to convince himself.

The woman raised an eyebrow, not truly convinced that Thomas was content. "This is Heaven, Thomas, you're supposed to be happy," she pointed out, "but you're not truly happy, are you?" She questioned boldly; although, she already knew the answer.

"How can you say that?" Thomas demanded. "Of course I'm happy! This place is everything I've ever dreamed of. How could anyone not be happy here?"

The woman's lips curved into a soft smile as she turned her eyes back to the scene playing before them. Thomas's friends had stopped joking when the door of the hospital room slid open, and a woman walked in carrying a box of brownies. She chuckled, "That's why you're not happy here," she concluded, nodding to Natalie, "That woman down there..you love her very much, don't you?"

     Thomas turned his gaze back to the screen to see everyone greeting Natalie. He dropped his head. "I do, but isn't it best if I just stay here? Maybe me being in her life wasn't meant to be, I'm here already, aren't I?" He said, "I've already caused her so much pain. I don't think I can go back and face her. It's best if I just fade out of their lives..t-they'll understand."

The woman snapped her fingers together, hitting her hand against her leg. "Ah, I understand it now." The woman stated. "You're a coward."

Thomas shifted his gaze to her. "What did you just call me?"

"A coward." She said again. "That woman down there loves you so much, regardless of the pain. She comes and sees you everyday. That's true love and you can't just pass off on that because you're scared of not being enough." She said plainly. "Go back and live your life, Thomas. If it doesn't work out then, boo hoo, you'll never know unless you try. You still have time. Besides," she continued, "God has given you a choice, you still have much to do down there. You were put on the earth to be a blessing, so please go back. They all need you." She said softly, a look in her eye that Thomas couldn't decipher.

      Thomas watched as everyone hugged Natalie and welcomed her in on the conversation. Moments passed and everyone had left, leaving Natalie alone with him in the hospital room. She was sitting by his bed watching as his body lay there.

He saw her wipe at her face, probably wiping away more tears like she did every time she came to see him. It broke his heart, he hated watching her cry, but he felt like he wasn't worthy enough to go back. Like maybe God could send her a better man than him.

      He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly. "Okay, I've made up my mind," He announced, "I'll go back."

The woman grinned widely, her green eyes shining as she turned to Thomas. "Good, I'm glad you still have a little sense left up in that brain of yours." She said, thumping him on the forehead.

       Thomas grabbed his head and frowned. "I didn't think you were allowed to hurt people in heaven."

She laughed loudly, the sound almost angelic. "Don't tell on me, okay? I've been here almost twenty years and I'm still getting the hang of it." She joked before looking back to Thomas, "Also, Thomas, can you do me a favor when you get back?" She asked.

Thomas frowned at first, but nodded, waiting for her to ask her question. She pushed a lock of blonde hair behind her ear and smiled.

"Tell Jack to smile more."