The Workaholic Wife ✅

Fighter Woman

Fear of vulnerability. "Oh god, Aniket." I sigh in relief.

"What? Did I hurt you?"

"No, but I think I found out why I was so repulsed by your touch." I say, my eyes widening.

"Along with the phobia of being touched— Haphephobia, I have OCD and an obsession with being in control.

Anikets' stares me, not comprehending the situation. "I knew about the OCD and Haphephobia. I never knew how much I desired control."

"Stop. Please." He says, covering his ears.

"I know this must seem like a shock, but I've known since my teenage years."

"Why? What made you so fearful of vulnerability?" He asks, taking hold of my arms.

"My mother."

I sigh.

"She was a perfectionist. As much as I was my fathers' daughter, I followed my mother to the core. I dressed like her, wanted to gain approval from her. My father understood this more than me. He is married to her, after all. He told me to be independent, and not seek approval. That's when the OCD started. I had to have everything a certain way. My clothes had to color coded, from black, white and lighter colors."

I pause.

"My parents never let me near other children— they feared they would ruin my perfect upbringing. That they  do something to tarnish my mind. I always loved to be with people. Except I loved it when they shared things with me. I was always emotionally detached. Never told my stories— never let them close to me. That's why the fear of being touched first emerged. I noticed when Alisha tried to comfort me once by hugging me. I had a anxiety attack. Every time the spa people touched me, I was so repulsed. My skin felt like it was on fire. That's why I reacted so much. But I never knew that I had an obsession with being in control."

"Do your parents know?"

"No. Never. I will never tell them."

"Why did you tell me?"

"Because, when you touched me, I wanted you to do it again. And I hated myself for being out of control. So I distanced myself from you." I lower my eyes.

"Do you still want me to touch you?"

"I am trying to force myself to want you to touch me without me being in control. I want to have the reigns of my brain this time."

"Alright. Damn the meeting. Come, have a shower with me. Let's explore." He smiles, sympathetically, pulling me closer to him.

I quickly push him away. "I don't want your pity, Aniket."

"I am not pitying you. I am trying to help you. As your husband."

"Please. Let me be." This is new information. This could help me. I just want to think about possible cures for myself. I don't have any specific traumatic incidents in my life, so I can't do therapy. "I can only cure myself through you. You're my cure."

Aniket kisses me on my forehead. He sighs and leaves the room without protest.

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