Home is With You

Twenty-Two

I tried doing that, I actually talked a little, Lance is very happy about that. He loves whenever I can talk. It kind of brings back those happy feelings and comforting feelings. Deep inside I know they're not going to last so I cherish them. They're all I have.

January bleeds into February. It was all kind of a blur, I don't remember it too much besides one day. Valentine's day. I remember it being a Friday, warmer than it had been a few days ago. Lance had been bragging that he's got a big surprise for me for weeks now and I try guessing but Lance always shuts me down and says I'll have to see for myself on Valentines day. Being honest, this surprise or whatever is my only motivation to get up, along with seeing Lance be himself and attempting to make me happy unlike everyone else. They kind of sit and stare.

On that Friday afternoon, when Takashi finally dismisses us, Lance grabs my hand and runs out of the classroom. It took me by surprise and I didn't even have enough time to tell him to stop so I can go to my locker. He just drags me out of the school and into the parking lot. "I can't wait to show you this. It took me weeks to find this and I know you'll love it." Lance bounces as we walk to his car, a bright smile on his face.

"What if I don't?" I tease. I look towards Lance and he stops for a moment and frowns. He thinks.

"I guess I...um..." He begins but doesn't know how to finish. I chuckle softly and look down at our feet.

"I'm joking."

"Oh good." I could tell Lance was smiling again just by his tone.

Lance unlocks the car and pushes me out of the way so he can open the door for me. He smiles brightly towards me and I let out a bashful breath. "You're weird," I comment before going into the car. Lance shuts the door and rushes to the driver's side.

"You're weirder," Lance mutters as he steps inside. He shuts the door and starts his car.

The drive to his house was comfortable and warm. Soft music plays from his radio, sometimes cutting out and making Lance irritated. I just watch him fumble with the radio as he tries to concentrate on the road. It was entertaining but at the same time kind of dangerous, Lance almost crashed three times.

When we arrive at Lance's house, no one was home. Lance rushes me towards his room and up the stairs. Once we were in the hallway, he covers my eyes with his hands. I rest my hands on his and frown. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"I don't want you to see it yet," Lance replies.

We slowly walk down the hall, I tried feeling my way around but quickly found it pointless as we were clearly going towards his room. He opens the door and we walk inside. "Close your eyes," He says to me and I comply.

"Is it a dog?" I ask softly. Lance laughs.

"No. Maybe next year if you wish hard enough." Lance replies as he shuts the door. He rushes past me and I could hear things ruffling in front of me.

"Is it alive?" I jump, almost opening my eyes.

"Um, depends on your view of things I guess. Just don't open your eyes!" He moves a few things around before rushing behind me.

"Can I look yet?" I ask, almost opening my eyes.

"Sure."

I open my eyes and I stood, stunned for a moment. A teddy bear sat in the middle of the room, it was around six foot and four inches, almost touching the ceiling. It's fur matched Lance's hair and it held a large, red, heart with my name on it. Despite it being written in marker, it still meant a lot. In the lap of the bear were red roses and multiple boxes of chocolate.

I turn towards Lance with my jaw dropped and my eyes wide. "Where- how- I don't..." I was speechless. I couldn't find the right thing to say. Lance just leans in and kisses my cheek.

"I found it somewhere down South with a bunch of red necks and hillbillies." Lance chuckles softly.

"I...I love it." I glance at it one more time before looking at Lance. The way Lance looked at me made my heart flutter all over again. His eyes were so focused on me and the way he bit his lip but not with sexual intention, more of just love. It gave me those feelings I never used to like but now yearn for.

"I'm glad you do." Lance lets out a breathy chuckle and licks his lips. I could feel his heart racing against my palm.

"Lance," I look down at our shoes. "I'm sorry," I mutter out softly.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Lance's lips form a frown.

"I just haven't been the best and I ruined everything." I rest my face into his chest. Normally talking about this, I would feel the burning behind my eyes or my breathing stop, but not this time. I was so used to this.

"It's fine, Keith. You don't need to keep apologizing. I understand." Lance ruffles my hair before moving his hand down to my waist. He pulls me closer.

"I just feel terrible," I mutter into his chest.

"It's fine Keith." Lance plants a kiss on the top of my head.

I let go of him and I look up at him. He looks back at me and smiles. He kisses my cheek before walking towards the teddy bear. I follow behind him, watching him pick up the roses and hand them to me. I gladly take them and feel the smooth petals between my fingers. The smell found their way into my lungs and I smile. "You're so sweet," I mutter.

"Not as sweet as you, and I'd know." Lance winks before sitting down on the floor. I kick him softly in the thigh and he laughs. I take a seat in front of him, leaning against the giant bear.

"I can't believe you actually found this, though." I feel the fur as I speak.

"Pidge, Hunk and I spent so much time...weeks...trying to find this and I'm glad we did. It was kind of hard to bring it in the house too. My mom thought I was crazy for buying it." Lance chuckles at the memory.

"Does she know?" I ask, sitting up a bit. Lance shakes his head no. I sigh and lean back. I place the roses next to me against the bear's right leg.

"Here, try some of the chocolate." Lance goes and picks up one of the heart-shaped boxes. He opens them up and grabs out a piece of chocolate. "Open your mouth." He says and I comply. He places the chocolate on my tongue before retreating his hand.

I eat the chocolate, the sweetness bursting in my mouth. "It's sweet," I comment. He smiles and pops one in his mouth as well.

"Not as sweet as you." Lance pokes my nose and I blush softly.

"You suck." I roll my eyes.

"Oh, I suck alright." Lance props himself on his knees and crawls in between my legs. I feel my face heat up and I rest my hands on his chest, pushing softly.

"You're so weird!" I laugh and push him softly.

"Shut up you like it." He leans in and pecks my lips.

"Says who?" I furrow my eyebrows and huff.

"Says me." He leans in and kisses me again. "I'm your boyfriend. I know what you like and don't like." He moves one hand to my thigh and he bites his lip. I feel my face heat up and I slouch down more.

Lance hovers over me and laughs at my tomato red face. "Shut up." I aggressively" bark. He just finishes laughing and leans in for another kiss, this time it was lingering.

"Make me." He smiles at me and I grab his shirt, pulling him into an agressive kiss.

This was the first time I've felt something in so long, I wanted to feel again. At the same time I was scared that I the feelings of guilt would come back.