I  pulled this of. To chapters to day. Yay.

So to all the haters out there, go fuck yourself.

Let people love who they want to love.

"You don't fall in love with a gender, you fall in love with a person." ~Sandra Alvarenga

This girl knows what she is talking about.


I was home. Home from that hospital I hated. I hated for being there and I hated what I did in there. I still have my arms covered in  patches. Really large white patches all up my arms and stopped at my shoulders. I did cut up my arm all the way up really deep to. I had been sleeping almost the whole week. The medication the doctor gave me made me sleep. So I think all most everyone had been sleeping in my bed once. Jinxx had never left my side of the bed. He really cared and still do. He was really scared. It was almost so you could smell it. That bad.

“Home, sweet home!” Sammi shouted when she walked in the door, she smiled one of her heart melting smiles of hers. I understand why Jinxx felt in love whit her. Damn, she is good looking. Now I have to stop to day dream.

I walked in in the living room. God I missed this place. There was a new painting on the wall. I walked closer. No, no it can’t be. It’s my painting. I was standing so close to the picture that I made. Ten months ago. I did not like that picture. It was of some one that I could not stand the sight of and Ash knew that. Ashley was the one I really could talk to when things was really bad and he saw me whit this person. It was a reason it was on the floor. Why hadn’t I just burned it. I think I still lov..

“ No you don’t. You don’t love this person after what that person did to you.” My inner voice told me once again. Like it all ways do when I starts to think of that person. 

“I like your painting, Liz.” Jake said to me .

“Well, I don’t.” I said back as I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“Why don’t you?” CC said standing next to me. I think everyone was in the kitchen.  I wanted to tell them. Should I tell them? Why don’t I just tell them. Ashley knew . I don’t think he would keep it a secret any more. I think I will tell them. It’s better if they know. I can’t keep it a secret any more.

“Because she is my ex.” I said quiet and took a large sip of my coffee. I looked on the floor. I could feel every once eyes was on me. Ashley was behind me.

“You want me to tell?” He asked. I nodded. I still was looking at the floor.

“One day, Liz called me. Already then I knew something was wrong…


 I was at the park. I looked around I was looking for my girl. I looked for my Ava. The girl that made my days go around. I walked around, like every other idiot in this town. I was waiting about half an hour before I called her. She didn’t answer. Where the fuck is she? I walked over to her house and walked in. Rude you most think. No, I could come and go as much I wanted. I walk in to the kitchen, she wasn’t there. I walk to the bathroom she wasn’t there ether. Then I heard there was some one kissing in the living room. Please, don’t. Please don’t tell me that is Ava. I walked in. Damn it I should never ever had walked in.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked mad. Really mad. I think you could see a tail grow out of my ass and horns grow out of my forehead. She was not given a chance to answer.

“You and me. We are over.” I screamed at the girl that was sitting on top of the popular girl at school Maggie.  I was running out of the house, down the stairs and away from the house. Running down to the park. Down to the tree where I could sit alone. 

I picked my phone out. I needed to call someone. I don’t know who. I can’t call mom or dad they will throve me out of the house. I don’t want that. I can’t call Jinxx. He won’t understand. I can’t call CC or Andy. I just can’t. Ashley maybe.  I didn’t think twice I just called him.

“Ash-Ashley. Please come and pick me up. I am at the park under the big tree. I need to talk to someone.”

“Lisbeth, what happened? He asked over the phone. 

I heard what he said, but I had ended my call. I sitting on the ground, sobbing. I didn’t want to think about what happened at Ava’s place. That bitch was making out whit someone else then me. I thought she loved me. She said that she would all ways be whit me. What the fuck happened in her fucked up mind? Tears started to run down my face. I pulled up my feet up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees. I started to cry even more of the thought of being alone once again.  I was down at the food rank at school once again. I could all ready hear what they would call me. I could feel the beats and kicks that wasn’t started. I knew that school whit be my hell. I was left alone. Someone was sitting on the ground next to me. I knew who it was. Ashley.

“Now, tell me what happened.” He said.

“Sh-She cheated on me.” This made me cry even more.

“She?” Ashley said in a voice that didn’t cover the fact that he wasn’t surprised.

“hmm, she. Ava from school.  Ava that have been in my house. The girl that was making out whit that slut Maggie form school, in front of my eyes.” I all most screamed, but controlled myself that I didn’t do so. I let my head fell to my arms that was wrapped around my knees. Tears escaping my eyes. I where feeling like a shit. All I wanted to do was to go home and find my blade. Drawing would not help. Not at this point.

Ashley helped me up at my feet and let me to his car. He opened the door and gave me a smile. I walked in and was sitting in his low car. My brain was starting to get crazy. It was there was a tornado of thoughts spinning around and around. Ashley had started the car and was driving.

“Want to sleep at my place today? I don’t think our mom and dad will like if you came home in this state.”

I nodded. My mom and dad wasn’t against gay people. They just did know hove to cope whit them. Trust me I have seen them and Ash had to. We were driving in silence and soon we were at Ash place. I was tried. I was so tired that I could fall to the ground and sleep there for ages. I asked if I just could sleep on the couch and he let me. I wonder why because last time he just pushed me into the guestroom. I sent a text to Jinxx to tell mom and dad that I was sleeping whit a friend. I walked over to the couch and just laid there staring at the ceiling. Ash soon came in to the living room whit a blanket and a pillow. I was thinking one thing, when I saw his face. That was he didn’t looked surprised when I said ‘she’ at the park.

“Why wasn’t you surprised when I said she at the park?” I asked. He looked when I asked. He bites his bottom lip and said:

“I saw you and that girl make out in an alley, one day and I already knew. ” He said whit a smirk. Wait, What?! He saw me and Ava make out in an alley. When did that happened? “you must have been really drunk, though.”

“What were you doing in that alley anyway?” I asked. I already knew the answer to that question.

“I. Good Night. He said and walked out of the room.


I was sitting on the floor, whit my fourth cup of coffee. Ash was done whit his part, but it was large holes that needed to be filled. I never told him about what is happening at school. I never told him that I cut. I never told him that, that ass of a popular guy raped me that night. I just need time to tell them. Really long time.

“I will tell you more tomorrow. You all know much, but not all of it. I really need to sleep.” I said. I lied at the sleeping part. My feelings from that day where back and they were not good.

Stronger in new ways (Black Veil Brides)Read this story for FREE!